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Angry

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Molly1977, May 13, 2014.

  1. Molly1977

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    Why do i feel so angry all the time. I feel as if i am still going in the wrong direction with my life. I see people a lot younger than me getting on with their lives, getting promoted to higher level jobs, having relationships and I feel like "why can't that be me" I have tried so hard to fit in with what everyone else wants me to be and I have never got anywhere.

    i know I need to give up trying to be something I am not and really find the courage to be myself but I just find it so hard. The people I work with are all married, straight and have been promoted up the pay grades whereas I am on my own and cant get on as I don't "play the game" e.g office politics which means being flirty and silly with the male managers so that they promote you. It's no coincidence that the people who are promoted are married to senior managers and spend all their time going to evening drinks so they get to know where the opportunities are. I don't go to the drinks evenings as am not married to a senior member of staff.

    Why am i so stressed with never getting anywhere?:bang:
     
  2. Dinah

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    Because you can't compete with office sexism and nepotism. (*hug*)
     
  3. errandboy

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    Hey Angry, I'm new here today, and your letter is so sad. I fully know what you mean,and don't think things will change for you if you dont make changes, and I don't think you should change for them. You are single, do you date at all? Would you like to" I'm asking because I joined here today cause partly because I have had gay thoughts but just secretly tried gay sex after 50 years of dreaming of it ,and its still my big secret, and am wondering if your in the same situation. Since this is a gay website it seems you are probably lesbian, and if so i wonder if you are meeting others. It could be a thing about "coming out" thats your downfall, im in a similar boat,but dont have co workers.
     
  4. piano71

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    Molly1977 -

    Get a different job. You've described a really superficial and corrupt work environment. Take your experience somewhere else that isn't so blatantly driven by favoritism.
     
  5. Really

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    Hi Molly,

    I'm sorry to hear about your job situation. I don't have any specific advice for you on that front but if you'd like help finding a new job, I could give you help there. I just recently came to this site and already people have been very helpful so I'd like to give back but don't know what the policy is on totally unrelated topics.
    That being said, I would be tickled to help you find a new job if you wanted. I'm somewhat of a job-finding savant. :wink: I've helped someone leaving the country find one, helped someone with a covering letter who was told by the hiring manager it was the best one they've seen ...
    I would write out an example of my job search method and you could apply it to yourself. I wouldn't even need to know what you were looking for! It's a one-size fits all method.
    Anyway, if it's allowed, I'm happy to help.
     
  6. White Knight

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    Sorry to hear your life ain't going superb Molly.

    Single people, at least in this country, valued less when it comes to raise or promotions by people's reasoning of "they don't have a family to feed"... That is not your root of problem but might give another PoV for you to thing.

    Nonetheless you deserve equal rights with everyone if you are doing same job so I echo earlier advice of looking for a new job.

    About other stuff? Probably it is age, I also have my share of that thoughts, like life is slipping thru your fingers and you look and see nothing left in your hands. I am feeling better lately as I started to make changes about my life. They are small but things I've been delaying or wanted to but never dared to do stuff.

    More than anything you need a hug. Here is one for you.(*hug*)

    Hope things work out fine for you soon. Maybe not much help but we are here to listen and share your problems. :icon_bigg
     
  7. Sig

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    Oh Molly, I am sad for you, and can so relate to what you're saying. I have nothing but commiserations and a virtual hug to give, but do understand your anger and disappointment. I hope that something new and better is just around the corner for you.

    (&&&)
     
  8. Emotional love

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    I think it's about time you look for another job within a large organisation that has equality and diversity values. Focus your energies on positive things. What is your job?
     
  9. Molly1977

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    Thanks for your advice, it is very much needed and apreciated.