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Taking a deep breath

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Sig, May 14, 2014.

  1. Sig

    Sig
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    Hi all,
    My first thread, and I can't believe I'm writing this, I'm shy, inhibited, 60 years old, and i think I'm gay.
    I have been married twice, unsuccessfully.

    I love being with guys (I'm female), but have realised that those whose company i enjoy are gay/tg/i, even though this contact is only online, and that straight men scare me (without historical cause).

    I've spent years 'exploring myself' psychologically, always avoiding the issue that the few people I've been sexually attracted to in my life have been female.

    It's late now in life to discover this, and I'm sad that it has nowhere to go, (my age I think, precludes any 'new romance') perhaps things would've been happier if I had understood this about me earlier.

    If you're young and confused, and reading this, I can only say, celebrate your sexuality whatever it is, and pursue your life to make it what you want it to be, not what is considered "right" by anyone else.

    Thanks for any comments, I hope to find a home here among some friends
    :slight_smile:
     
  2. Penpal

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    Hi Sig, welcome to the EC there are lots of threads on here similar to yours. Don't say you are too old to meet someone, you never know when and where you will fall in love.
    I'm 39 and just separating from my husband. Your advice to the young is exactly how I feel. If I could go back to my teens and 20's I would spend more time finding out who I was rather than pushing it to the back of my mind and getting into a serious relationship so young.
    Hope you enjoy the EC, I have found it really helpful and I think you will find you are far from alone on here.
     
  3. Sig

    Sig
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    Thank you so much for your kind reply and lovely welcome, Penpal.
    I do wish you well during the difficult period you and your husband must be going through now, but with youth and experience on your side your future is going to bloom.
    :slight_smile:
     
  4. Butterfly72

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    Hi

    I'm 41 and have just started a beautiful relationship with this stunning women and today I was sitting in my car thinking, "all my life I could of had this but didn't" BUT I do now. Its never too late! 60 is still young, you have many years ahead... Live it! :kiss:
     
  5. greatwhale

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    Hi Sig, welcome to EC!

    It's good that you have come to this realization, and for you, and for the people who crossed your path in life, it had to happen this way and at this time. No regret, no lament is necessary.

    Do not assume that at your age that this has nowhere to go, there are scads of women just like you and it is easier than ever to find them. It really is never too late to find love with integrity and I wish it for you with all my heart!
     
  6. Rose27

    Rose27 Guest

    Welcome Sig!(*hug*)
    Like others have said it's never too late. Being out is about being who you are. It's an awesome & freeing feeling!
    I've seen many attractive women in their 60's. A lot of it is being confident and comfortable with who you are.
    I've discovered since coming out last year I'm not as shy as I thought I was. I just spent too much time hiding who I was in the past. It was easier being quiet. We are all a 'work in progress'.
    Discovering and accepting who you are is an amazing thing at any age.
     
    #6 Rose27, May 14, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: May 14, 2014
  7. White Knight

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    Welcome to EC, Sig.

    It's never too late. You are not the only LGBT person at age of 60 nor the one hoping to find the one.

    At least you know who you are now. You showed great courage and strength to admit what you are. I wonder how many people knew who they really are but afraid to admit it and carried that fact to the grave.

    Cherish in your strength and think positive.

    Welcome again.(*hug*)(&&&)
     
  8. mangotree

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    You'll be happy to know that lesbians age very well.
    I've met a few 50+ year olds and they're gorgeous! (I didn't ask their exact age... but they have adult kids so one can assume).
    There's always a chance you'll meet a beautiful lesbian one day :slight_smile:.
    Never say never (even though I just said it twice).

    I haven't got much to say that hasn't already been said, I just hope you enjoy being free.

    Peace be with you.
     
  9. Sig

    Sig
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    Thank you all so very much for taking the time to reply to my first post, and for being so kind and positive. I have surely come to the right place.

    Cheers to the wonderful people I've met here, and those whom I'm yet to meet.

    (&&&)
     
  10. Choirboy

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    Sig, there are people here on EC in their 60's and 70's who are finally coming to grips with who they are, so it's never too late. I know a woman in real life in her mid-50's who is in the middle of escaping an unhealthy relationship with a (female) partner of many years, and she's certainly not the only one out there, so don't assume by any means that age is going to stop you from finddng someone or being happy. I finally accepted the fact that I was gay about a year and a half ago, and am navigating what to do about a 20-year marriage, two teenage children, messy finances, and a wife with some emotional issues--but do you know what? I'm happier and feel more mentally healthy than I have in decades. And I was completely blindsided by a relationship that I never expected to have, and in fact wasn't even looking for, with a wonderful guy who wasn't looking for anyone either - and I'm not much younger than you are. Amazing things happen when you make the effort to open yourself up to possibilities and are honest about who you are. Confidence and openness and just being a "real person" are much more attractive than looks or youth.

    There's great peace and confidence and strength in accepting who you are and leaving all the fears and masks behind you. EC is full of people who will accept and encourage you and give you a home as you work things out. Welcome!
     
  11. Sig

    Sig
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    Thank you so much Choirboy. I don't have the words for how much all the support and kindness means to me. And to share in others' stories somehow puts it all in perspective.

    It's wonderful that you've found someone special enough to keep you buoyant through the difficulties inherent in the ending of a marriage, especially a long one. I can very much relate to the problems you're facing. And of course, once its over and the dust has settled (how trite that sounds), your new love will be there for you to go forward with.

    Thank you so much again for your encouragement and warm welcome to EC.
    Wishing you happiness, and the easiest possible road to it.
     
  12. greatwhale

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    Here's something for you, Sig,

    [YOUTUBE]DQGhlDo7m1U[/YOUTUBE]

    If you can't see it when it plays, press on the title above
     
  13. anaisninja

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    Welcome Sig. Please reconsider feeling that you are too old to find love.

    I just turned 50 and only recently realized the attraction I've had to women for the past 5 years is not a fluke. I only just had my first sexual experience with a woman last night.

    I've struggled with that feeling that it's too late, that I wish I'd known this 20 years ago. But the reality is, we have to accept and start where we are. Don't buy into the lie that only the young deserve love and affection.

    I belong to a support group for other "late bloomers" - women who were married and discovered later in life that they're attracted to women. One of our members just "graduated" after 3 years and moved to Canada to be with the love of her life. She was 58 when she first had this realization, is now 61 and is enjoying her new life fully.

    Remember this when you start to feel discouraged. You can have what you want. It's never too late.