Hi, all! I'm new on the site. I posted in the "Welcome" section, but since I'm definitely coming out "later in life," I thought I'd introduce myself in this section, too. I'm a married woman in my 40s. I've known I was bisexual since I was a teenager, and had some relationships with women (as well as with men) in college, but after college I met the man who later became my husband, and since then I've been monogamous with him. However, over the past few years my attraction to women has come more and more to the forefront of my attention, and I realized that it was a significant part of my makeup. I have been considering myself bisexual, but I'm wondering if I may even be a lesbian -- my attraction lately has been gravitating more and more to women. I'm feeling confused and hoping to find people to talk to here who will understand what I'm going through. Hopefully there are some other (cough!) "mature" types here!:smilewave
The real question you should ask is are you still attracted both emotionally and sexually to you're husband. If you are that's good. And is tere anybody in particular (girls) that you have a great connection wih
I'm in a similar situation...I came out not to long ago after trying to suppress my feelings for a very long time. I decided to stop being unhappy, because not being true to myself was making me feel horrible. I do have a ways to go, one step is telling my bf of 6 yrs. That I am working on. So yes I totally understand how you feel...it is confusing especially since you assumed you had a handle on your life, by this age. And it can be a bit scary at times and make you feel as if you are alone in all of this. Well you definitely aren't. If you feel you want to talk send me a message...tc. P.S. Welcome to the EC Family... (*hug*)
Welcome latebloomlady. You are certainly not alone. I'm another late bloomer. I just turned 50 and for the past 5 years the only 4 people I've been attracted to were women. The first one, I thought was a fluke, then I started to wonder if it was symptom of menopause, a hormonal thing. Finally I decided it didn't matter why or how it came to be, I just want to be happy. You'll find a lot of support here.
Hi xxx yep in the same place too. I have been questioning all my adult life but kept it hidden down low but it was always there. I have been married twice (to men) and now I am single and have just started my first real relationship with a beautiful women and I feel so free.... such a good feeling to finally be myself (ok still in the closet to most) in time when I feel ready I will come out to my bigoted family. I am here if you want to chat more xx
Hi there, I can totally relate. Been a largely closeted bisexual for a number of years, recently more "out", and the more "out" I am, the more gay I feel. My new girlfriend and I are realising that I am actually SO gay. Kind of liberating too, to be in a relationship where nothing is forced and it all feels VERY natural.(!)
Hi there, another one relating here, I'm new to all of it, and a veerryy 'mature type', lol. So you're certainly not alone. Coming here was a great step; everyone has been so supportive and understanding. So welcome (heh heh, I only made my first post today), to a place where you can be yourself, whoever you decide that to be.
You're in a difficult situation if you want to discover who you are, but you are in a monogamous relationship with your husband. Bi or lesbian I don't think it matters as you have shown the ability to be attracted to both. Like a river you should run free and discover the things that life brings to you. Don't live your life wondering, follow your desires and open up your world.
Hi, you sound so similar to me. At 51, after being with my husband for 25 years I have fallen head over heels for a work colleague. I have suspected I was bi for a couple of years now and this seems to confirm it. I can't believe the way I feel about this woman but she has answered the question for me. At the moment I don't see me doing anything about my feelings.I'm too scared. I'm resigning myself to a dead marriage with me looking at females and wondering......is it possible to bury you true feelings forever and simply exist? I count the hours until I see her next. :icon_sad: I also feel now that I have acknowledged these feelings I will never be the same person again.
I'm sorry I'm late in welcoming you, Bloom! I can relate, although I'm in somewhat the reverse position...thought of myself as bisexual since I was a teenager, but found myself rather settled with a wonderful female partner whom I met in college (and who fortunately for me also identifies as bisexual)...we thoroughly enjoyed "who needs men?" camaraderie for years, but as we've become older, we've found ourselves with a growing interest in that area...quite inconvenient, really. So yeah...not the same as you, but with common threads. As you can see, plenty of people here who are various facets of this particular crystal!
Oh, I need to join this club! I feel like as the hormones wane, and the need to hunt down a man and have mad passionate sex goes away with the desire to make babies, it's not only liberating but I'm desiring women more and more…poor hubby and I haven't had sex in 2 years… I really find it interesting that there are not only so many of us here but it seems to be nearly a TREND in the world. Be straight, marry, have kids, raise kids, hit menopause and blossom into a lesbian. I read somewhere the other day that women's' sexuality is fluid, where a man's is static. I think that's REALLY True!
"Be straight, marry, have kids, raise kids, hit menopause and blossom into a lesbian". I like the "blossom into a lesbian" bit. :lol: I've definitely blossomed in the last year but still haven't found the courage to deal with my emotionless marriage. 20 years with a guy is a lot to throw away, but I do feel that I have a lot of living still to do. I see myself as 'only' 51. is that bad? is this what they mean by a mid life crisis?? I want to travel, see new places, experience new things, but not with my husband, with the female ive had a crush on for the past 10 months....
I hope that wasn't offensive Stella99-I just think about my first marriage-how I did every single thing that my parents expected of me and now I realize how completely out of touch with myself I was then. I have changed SOOO much! And no, I don't think it's bad to think you have a lot of life left-in my family people live to be in their 90's so I have half my life left! And yes, I DO want to do things…It's weird the last few years I've been so grounded-not tied down-I was always a nomad, but staying home a lot has some great points-my husband and I have a quiet life, but yes, it is kind of emotionless…And I know what you mean about throwing it away. He IS my best friend-and we are like two peas in a pod, but here lately it's like brother and sister, or twins…Not that I really NEED to go digging up drama and looking for sex or love…. Yeah, I really want to experience things with females-not just lesbian things but, like FRIEND things…I miss having girlfriends. I definitely don't think I want to spend the next 45 years or so being THIS much of a home-body… We are polyamorous-which was something i had to agree to in the beginning-it was new to me but I chose it, and at least that has caused us not to have to divorce over my last crush… Complicated little critters aren't we?
I haven't hit menopause yet. But definately premenopause. Just had a talk with my doctor about it. But I just had to say that I feel alot of what you said here. I am only 37, what am I waiting for. I always said I would live a better life than this.
