Divorced lesbians who married men ( or still in relationship?)

I am bi so it's not quite what you are looking for. However when I met my husband it was totally right. I loved him without a doubt. Unfortunately 19 years on and we are separated. I have also had strong feelings, love, for a woman. I believe it is the person not what sex they are for me. However if you are a lesbian then the right person is out there but no matter what your mum thinks that person is a woman. You sound like you know who you are and that's fantastic. X

 

No, I never told myself my husband was "the one." I just didn't want to be gay and I thought it would work because he's my best friend. I really regret that now. Your mom doesn't know what she's talking about.

 

Totally agree and relate to this. Your mom is wrong and confused about the difference between a true bisexual and a lesbian.

 

No, I knew he was not the one. I was ok with that, because I was still hiding from myself. I did date, and sleep with, many many guys in the effort to find 'the one' that would make me straight. No such luck.

Tell your Mother she is only straight because she has not found the right girl yet to make her lesbian.

 

Yes and no!
The guy I actually had a long-term relationship and lived with did never feel like 'the one', but I still loved him, just did not think about if he was the one or not. Getting physical was not a chore initially, but later it stopped making sense because I did not feel intimate with him at all.
The other guy, I've met after I actually dated women.
He had all of the qualities I wanted in a partner, I loved him very much, I completely thought he was the last person I'd ever date. BUT: it was a mostly online relationship.
We've met, but in retrospect i still did not feel the great connection in person. It was all a great experience, but the fact that it was mostly online is really telling!

 

When I met my ex husband, I was way to young to know who I should spend the rest of my life with. We met in high school at 17 years old, and of course I thought he was "the one." I guess I would think that about anyone I had a crush on. I even figured out I was gay because of a crush. But that didn't happen until I was 33 years old.

 

Lol!

 

If you ever end up responding to your mother by saying, "Maybe you haven't found the right woman yet to rock your world"...and are willing to share her response, I'd be super curious to hear it haha

 

I never said he was 'the one'. I knew that we weren't emotionally connected and that there wasn't a ton of chemistry there. But I thought that the other qualities our relationship had (mutual respect, work well together, similar attitudes about money, etc.) would be enough. They aren't.

I'm still struggling with whether I'm a lesbian or bi. If I am bi, there are probably not very many men that I am compatible with. I don't feel that the bi label fits me very well. But I do know that my husband is not 'the one'.

 

I was in a relationship with my ex for seventeen years and i meet him when i was very young so i can relate to what tomboy said. I guess at first i did think he was the one because we got along so well and that drew me to him. It was the first time i ever felt a possible connection with a guy so maybe i kind of took that as he must be the one. This must be what love is about. We never had real good physical chemistry, but i just brushed that off and attributed it to inexperience and nervousness. After years went by and it didn't get any easier i started realizing that hey, maybe this really isn't love because i don't feel a physical attraction to him. I started noticing women a lot more and always had the hint in the back of my mind that i knew all along i am a lesbian. There were just soooo many signs over the years and some very early signs i chose to ignore. I really thought i could make it work, but i couldn't. I really thought what we had was true love because even though we had difficulties we still made it work, thought love was about compromise. He enjoyed the sex and i usually just went along to make him happy, it just felt empty to me. Started realizing that i could be happy too if i was with someone i was physically attracted to. Have had so many crushes on women over the years and still choose to ignore what i knew to be true. There are lots of complications into why i have stayed in the closet so long, but I'm starting to inch my way out. We recently broke up a couple days ago. I kind of half way came out to another friend today, still not sure if he actually got it. I was somewhat vague about it.
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