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Popped my cherry

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by anaisninja, May 17, 2014.

  1. anaisninja

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    I did it. I - finally! - had sex with a woman last night.

    And it was fucking awesome.

    :wow:

    That is all.
     
  2. Sig

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    :eusa_clap

    Whoohoo!
     
  3. Really

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    Woohoo, indeed!

    Can I ask, if it's not too personal (is there such a thing here?), what the approximate timeline was from self-acceptance/acknowledgement (or whatever we're calling it) to meeting a potential candidate (not necessarily this lucky one) to this happy occasion?

    I realize it will be different for everyone but a girl can dream, right?
     
  4. Black Raven

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    I remember how good I felt after I lived out my orientation in a practical manner for the first time. I couldn't stop smirking happily for days. :grin:

    Congratulations!
     
    #4 Black Raven, May 17, 2014
    Last edited: May 17, 2014
  5. Dryad

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    Wow! :eusa_clap
    I haven't had sex with anyone yet, but I remember the first time I kissed a girl... :rolle: (!)
     
  6. Radioactive Bi

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    Right-oh.

    Keep it up and have fun :slight_smile:

    Happy days :slight_smile:
     
  7. looking for me

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    Congrats, play safe.
     
  8. greatwhale

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  9. HopeFloats

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    How wonderful!
     
  10. anaisninja

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    Thanks for your support everyone. I feel a little juvenile, getting high-fives all around for getting laid, but I don't care. It was amazing and I'm not sorry. Hah!

    Hi Really, no problem, I'm happy to answer your question. So I'm not sure which self-acceptance/acknowledgement date to give you. I developed my first crush on a woman back in 2009. However, I didn't get to the point where I realized that it wasn't a fluke until the end of January this year. At that point, I actively started to join dating sites, focus on women exclusively, etc.

    So the acknowledgement date was around 1/22/14. I had my first couple of dates (one was a dud, one was a disaster) the first couple weeks of February. I met the woman in question for the first time mid-April. And our big hot encounter was last Thursday, 5/15/14.

    So... about 4 months. Not bad for a total noob eh?
     
    #10 anaisninja, May 17, 2014
    Last edited: May 17, 2014
  11. tomboy

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    Wow! Congrats! Did you come out to people before this? Did anyone question whether you were really sure, or whether it could be "just a phase" since you hadn't been with a woman yet? I'm curious if this came up for you, and how you felt, because it did for me, and it really shook my confidence in coming out to people. I started to feel like maybe I should just wait until I finally had an intimate encounter so people would take me seriously.
     
  12. Really

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    Oh, wow! If a noob can do it in 4 months, there must be hope for this dweeb!

    You're my new hero.

    Did all your dates come from dating sites? Or, were any of them from non-digital real-life encounters? (Ok, that sounded a bit dirty. Sorry).
     
  13. anaisninja

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    Hi tomboy,

    I know exactly what you are talking about. I just turned 50 last year, so I found it demoralizing at times to try to get women to want to give me a chance. I felt like I had this giant scarlet letter on my forehead that said "never been with a woman". I was afraid that nobody wanted to be my "first." Especially at my age. They'd think I'm just curious, or experimenting, or confused. I felt defensive and ashamed about that too, because, well why *is* this happening now? Why did I wait so long? Did I always know and was suppressing it? Was I in complete denial?

    But it's none of those things, although I still don't know why it happened the way it did. And although I wish I'd gone through this 20 years ago, for whatever reason, this is my new reality today. It's real. It's my life, not an experiment.

    So maybe I just got lucky that the woman in question didn't seem to notice or didn't care that I was a noob. I put off telling her until we were, um, halfway through the act because I felt it was about to become obvious that I didn't know what the hell I was doing. :icon_redf Because I'd blown this way up in my head as a big deal, I was half afraid she'd end it right there. But she didn't. Thank god. She said it's okay, and afterward, she said she was honored that she was my "first." Isn't that sweet?

    Now that I've had this intimate encounter, yes. I definitely feel pretty damned proud of myself. I've got this "under my belt" so to speak now. I think I will feel much more confident going forward, because I can actually say that I have been with a woman.

    And I liked it. Rrrowrrr... :grin:

    ---------- Post added 18th May 2014 at 12:24 AM ----------

    Hi Really,

    All of my local dates did come from dating sites. The best one for me has been *******. That's where I met my lovely butch. :love:

    lol, you said digital... :lol:

    ---------- Post added 18th May 2014 at 12:26 AM ----------

    Oh crap. I'm not allowed to say the name of the dating site. wtf
     
  14. tomboy

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    Thanks Anaisninja. It's good to know I'm not the only one who has worried about what people think about me never having been with a woman.

    But what about friends and family you came out to, not potential sexual partners? Did you feel like they took you less seriously if the knew you hadn't been with a woman yet?

    Some people have this idea that you can't know for sure if you're gay or bisexual until you try. But I know. Sex isn't the only thing. Sexual orientation is much more complex than that.
     
  15. Really

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    Thanks for all your "sharing" and don't worry about the name of the dating site. I'm sure I've come across it already. I'm above average when it comes to navigating the digital world. Computers, COMPUTERS!
    (Although, I have found some pretty fabulous videos with some great techniques for the other stufffff.)
     
  16. Fallingdown7

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    Hey congrats on your first (lesbian) time. I bet it was great. I'm still nervous to have mine so It's nice to see people happy with their experiences.
     
  17. stocking

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    I'm so jealous right now :icon_sad:

    but I give you a happy celebration congratulations:thewave: (!)
     
  18. anaisninja

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    Hmmm... well no, that did not happen with friends and family. But I see your point. I've been doing a lot of reading about this and one source (sorry can't remember the name) pointed out that straight teens know who they are attracted to before they are old enough for or ready for sex. So why not LGBT teens, or adults?

    That idea was still in the back of my head though - what if I don't like sex with a woman, even after I've been feeling this attraction. In my case, that was an unfounded fear.

    I would say, just relax, be open, and enjoy yourself. You'll find out soon enough, in the meantime, you are exactly where you are supposed to be. :slight_smile:
     
  19. Rosepetal

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    I have a question if it's a rude question don't answer it but why didn't u um pop ur cherry in ur teen or college years?
     
  20. Biotech49

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    Anaisninja, your timeline sounds kind of like mine. I came out at 49, met a girl (knew her from high school), talked a lot, it went dead. Met my current girlfriend online in April of last year and in person June 8th. The rest is history. June 8th, a date that will live in infamy... in my life at least.

    So, congrats! Better late than never. Some of us are just late bloomers.