Hello. So this is scary...I am looking for advice on coming out to myself. Ha! I guess posting here is a first step. I am married with kids...a lot on the line. Terrified. Not sure what else to say right now. Hi everyone. :]
Hello, and welcome to EC Congratulations on coming here and taking the first step. Surely it wasn't easy, but you did it! Not sure exactly if this will help, but have you already thought about yourself? Do you feel attracted to men? And what about women? Don't rush it, it's okay to take it slow. We are here for anything you need (*hug*) Again, welcome and congratulations!
Hi Belle! Welcome to EC. The starting point is probably to say it out loud to yourself. It needn't be decisive and specific...but for your benefit (and so we have a better idea of exactly what you're struggling with), you might want to say something like "I think I might be a lesbian" or "I think I might be bisexual" or "I find myself really turned on by women's bodies" or any true statement along those lines. Once you've said that, you're out to yourself. What's the most specific truthful statement you're comfortable making? And by the way, I notice that you signed up in February, and your first post is in June. Congratulations on having the bravery to get this far! You've clearly been struggling with this for a while...so give yourself credit for taking this first big step (well...second step...I'm sure just making your account here was a big step too). Hugs, -- Annika
Welcome to the EC. I am 39 married but just separated and have 2 children. I can relate to your story completely. Feel free to talk to me anytime. I hope you find your answers. This place has been so helpful to me. X
Hi and welcome to EC! You've come to the right place for sure. We've all been where you are right now. It's a scary place, but generally it's worse in our heads than in reality. We expect the worst and what happens is usually better. I was married for 9 years and had 2 daughters when my wife and I separated. It was the best thing for both of us - which means that it was also the best thing for my kids. They are better to have two happy and well adjusted parents that live appart than two miserable and disfunctional parents who live together - and that's the route I was on. So take your time. Coming out is a personal thing, and there are no set rules or timelines. Good luck - and again - welcome!
Thanks you guys! I am 99% sure that I am lesbian. But I.love my family and I don't want to break us apart. My raltionship with.my husband has been a very difficult one for years, probably since the beginning of our marriage. He is emotionally withdrawn from me completely. We are probably halfway there but we would both probably rather live like this for now rather than break it all up. He doesn't know though that my sexuality has been an issue for me throughout since I have only recently started admitting this to myself. I feel so relieved talking about this.
Welcome "I feel so relieved talking about this" I know the feeling. Just wanted to say hello and wish you all the best on your journey.
Welcome! Just know that you are not alone and there are people here who are happy to give you advice. Good Luck.
Like Melanie said above, i know the feeling (*hug*) Reading your post made me smile, haha. I feel happy for you. I'm repeating myself, but we are here if you need advice or anything else
There you go: you're out to yourself. Congratulations again! That was a strong statement! (I mean, ok, there's that 1%, but seriously, I don't think I can make any statement about *anything* with 100% confidence.) As Jim said, take things at whatever pace is right for you. In the meantime I strongly suggest reading different people's stories here. There's a *ton* of accumulated wisdom on this site...make good use of it. And if there's anything more specific we can help with, let us know.
Welcome to EC, PinkBelle! I'm sure you'll find the support and advice you look for here! And way to go on taking this first step! (*hug*)
Thanks to all of you for your encouraging words. (&&&)Yesterday was a good day. I admitted it to myself and to you guys. Today I want to climb back into the dark safe closet and pretend everything is going to be OK. It comes and goes in waves. I feel like I have to address this thing but thinking about it is overwhelming so I usually struggle with it for a few days and then shove it back under the rug. Out of sight out of mind. But it comes back...every time possibly a bit stronger. Today I am trying to convince myself that I can keep pretending for the rest of my life - nobody needs to know, I can take this to my grave. I know, I know...all lies and unhealthy. But I like my life. Our life. My kids are happy. My husband and I are good friends, at least. We are planning things for our future...how selfish of me to throw it all away. 99 % sure means nothing because that nagging little 1 % tries to tell me another story. Back and forth I go, over and over. :bang:
What I would say is... You can live an honest and authentic life and your kids can still be happy. You and your husband can remain good friends. Wanting to be true to who you really are (even though you didn't choose to be that way) is not being selfish.
