Greetings, I told my therapist that I really didn't see the need to continue working with him anymore. Things are as good as they can be, given the circumstances. I have accepted the things I can't change (take my ex...please!) and I am in a better position with regard to relationships, both old and new. His help was invaluable, I really needed him when I did; but part of this work is also knowing when I can stand on my own, and I am there now. He genuinely seemed saddened a bit, not because he felt I needed to continue with him, but, as he put it, "I will selfishly miss our great conversations". I have suspected for a while that he was learning as much from me as I was from him... Life is full of challenges, but it does seem that the rough edges are smoothed out with the support of family and friends. I am truly blessed with both, and in abundance!
Wow GW, that’s good news it’s great to hear that you have things sorted out and under control. I also had the feeling that my therapist was sad to see my CDT treatment end (it was free in the UK but limited to 20 sessions) because we had such interesting sessions. From memory it’s about a year since you started a new job, how’s it working out? Sale Gay Guy
Thanks Sale! The job is great, been there now 14 months...best I've ever had! My supervisor is wise, knowledgeable and willing to show me how things are done. I was truly beyond lucky to get it, given how crappy the job market is in my industry in this town...
It's impossible I think for therapists to not get attached to their clients, were human after all whether in a professional or personal situation if your doing well with your therapist your bound to be connected. Sounds like you had a great one with your therapist. You sound in a great mental place, and I wish you the very best standing all by yourself, I know you will do great!!!
I'm both happy and sad. Happy because it sounds like you've "moved a lot of stuff" - that's a term I heard in therapy midway between 2000 and 2010. Sad because we get to where we begin to lean on them and some kind of attachment forms. It's sort of like the proverbial old shoe - we get used to having the therapy session on our calendar and be a cornerstone of our week and they get used to our m.o. and may even enjoy having us as clients. Who knows. I often wonder if this is normal or common. And if there's a word for it. I learned the word countertransference here, on EC. Maybe I use it too much or am too obsessed with it! At any rate, you have definitely moved along a lot, and in a short time, gw.
You really have made good progress in the time you've been here. You might direct him here so he can see your posts! Which are intelligent and often thought provoking. You really are lucky to have an abundance of family and friends.
Thank you, BMC. I do indeed appreciate just how lucky I am. To have gotten out of an intolerable situation relatively "under-scathed", and to still have and enjoy the family and friends I was idiotic enough to forget about when I was in the family situation. But there is something about luck I would like to share: Princeton University - Princeton University's 2012 Baccalaureate Remarks Michael Lewis (who wrote "Moneyball") gave the 2012 graduation speech at Princeton. The theme of his talk was that the graduating class to whom he was speaking needed to hear about the role of luck in their relatively privileged lives. Lewis' main point is that people are too ready explain their success because of all their hard work, etc. when they don't take the time to think just how lucky they are. For example, for being born and living in a relatively orderly, prosperous and peaceful society, governed by law (I do say relatively). Lewis argues for the old notion of "noblesse oblige" and that with great luck comes an equal responsibility to give back. In my own small way, that is precisely what I am trying to do...
What an awesome milestone to have reached! Many whales don't get that far...but the really great ones do, of course. *big hug* Congratulations!!
GW, you've been an inspiring force since I joined at the end of January, I consider bit a privilege to have shared in part of your journey by your posts here along the way. No matter how petty or trying the circumstances, you always remind us how the keep it classy and keep our dignity.
I think this is great news. Terminating therapy, especially when it's the client's idea, is usually a really good sign. Congratulations!
It takes a certain maturity to be able to recognize when you are fully able to stand up on your own two feet and call it off on your own. I'm sure it might be difficult at times but I know you'll be able to handle whatever comes at you =]
^Thank you, BlueSky and Luthan, I appreciate your kind words. I haven't closed the door to seeing him again if I have to, but I do feel stronger than I have in a while, which is a great feeling!
Congrats, greatwhale! I'm pretty sure such a point will come for me at some point, but I'm pretty far away from being able to see it at this point, sadly. The good news is that my life has already improved SO much from therapy. I highly recommend it to anyone, but you have to find a good therapist that you connect with and it sounds like you did.
