Greetings! I've joined a Facebook group for gay fathers and one of the members of this group asked the following question earlier today (about 6 hours ago): So far there have been 64 responses, most of them from different people. Sixty-four responses in 6 hours, and so many stories similar to ours! Former marriages ranging from 3 to 30 years, all the challenges, heartbreaks and support, and everyone, myself included, eager to tell our story...The OP, overwhelmed by our responses had to agree that he wasn't out of the "norm" at all. I think there is something going on with our bunch that is, in fact, a new norm! I do believe it is an accelerating phenomenon, one that resembles a kind of pent-up eagerness to break free of the closet. One of the responders put it very well: In this summer of Pride, let us all awaken the closeted to this new dawn...it really will be a new norm!
Thank you for sharing this. I am so surprised that the loneliness that I have felt for so many years is not uncommon. Thank you thank you for posting this and sharing this additional piece of encouragement.
It must be amazing to hear/ read so many responses in such a short time. It really does help to know that there are so many people dealing with the same challenges and blessings I face in coming out while still married. That is what I am finding here on EC. Recently when I came out to a dear friend, she said I hope this is the last generation that has to go through this experience.
Yes, it's quite clear that there are plenty of men who come out who were once at the very least in a serious straight relationship (e.g. marriage), and many of these men also have children. There is even a support group in Seattle for such men. So this is becoming a new norm, at least for the moment. One hopes that as LGBT understanding/acceptance grows that future generations of gay men won't end up in straight relationships as commonly as has happened in the past. ---------- Post added 7th Jun 2014 at 08:33 AM ---------- Actually, I'm sort of wondering if I'm the real freak in all this... I'm definitely Later in Life. And yet, unlike most who come out at this point, I have never been married. Never even had a date with a woman. Indeed, I have never even had a date, not even a casual one night high school "we might as well go together to the dance because neither one of us is popular enough to get a real date" type date. I'm not complaining. I know I'm lucky that I don't have a wife to deal with. But I do feel very trapped between norms--the normal gay man, who has been out since his 20s, and the New Norm man, who is coming out later in life after being in a serious straight relationship.
I go to a bi/ gay Dad's group at the NYC LGBT center, well, I used to go regularly, then not much over the past months. Went Friday. In such a good way I got the perspective of where I was at a year or so ago. Not out. Fearful of what my kids would think. Of what my ex-W would think. Of walking away from platYing hetero. Of not bring sure of how to embrace my gay community. We are not alone. We're normal, we're ok, we're worthy human beings, we are meant to love and be loved. :icon_bigg
