1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

No idea in what to do next

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by LostMyself, Jun 7, 2014.

  1. LostMyself

    LostMyself Guest

    I've been giving myself time to think things through about what I want to do about all this sexuality stuff.Ive been stuck in the mindset that I'm possibly a lesbian for the past 3 years.Since seeing my counsellor about it all I feel like I'm trying to sub consciously repress it from myself.Ive been with my children's father for well over 11 years now.My counsellor thinks it could be both my sexuality but also the relationship as to why I'm feeling this way the thing is I see areas to where it is my relationship but then I don't look at guys how I look at women I'm constantly thinking what it'd be like to be with a woman I am very attracted to women I crave for the attention of a beautiful woman and prefer a woman to look at me then creepy men (sorry men) but everything about a guy puts me off there is the odd accept ion I think they look okay but I never fantasise about them like I do women.I think also the fact that when my partner holds things against me he denies it but he does mind fuck with me it makes me feel like I have no choice to stay and be unhappy he says that it will be hell for kids to be in two seperate homes if we split but I just feel so stuck he has more support,money and family then me.Ive seen legal aid and they told me what I already know.I feel like I'm going backwards cause of this burden he holds against me my mind is trying to repress everything because I just feel so hopeless thinking about the future.He told me it won't be easy,how do I know if I'm really repressing or maybe I'm not as much lesbian as I thought I was.
     
  2. paris

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2013
    Messages:
    813
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Bohemia, CZ
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I think it's somewhat shortsighted point of view. Yes, it's not easy for children when their parents separate but they get use to it eventually.
    I wish my parents had divorced when I was a kid instead of keep living together, fighting every single day and hating each other. Growing up in such an environment was even more difficult for me than if they divorced, I think. I believe that all the stress from living in such an abusive relationship caused my mom's drinking and later her illness. She wasn't mentally there for me when I needed her the most and I lost the ability to confide in her. Moreover if they had separated she might have even found new partner who'd really love her and make her happy.

    Try not to think if you're lesbian or not for a while, sexuality aside, just ask yourself if you wouldn't be happier without your partner.
     
  3. looking for me

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    3,791
    Likes Received:
    869
    Location:
    on the Rock, Newfoundland and Labrador
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    well both of these statements that i highlighted are control statements. one to use your kids as a weapon and the other to use you as a weapon. my wife used to use similar tactics to keep control of our family too.
    I separated from my wife of 24 years one year ago today. things were always tense in my house and i it was hard on our kid, i didn't realize how hard till about a month after the split he looked at me and said " dad, it's not that i don't miss mom but things are so more relaxed here now, is that bad?" No my son i said, don't feel guilty about feeling like that. He still misses his mom when she's 100 miles away and i make sure he gets to see her as much as i can, plus i have him in counseling with our family doctor to deal with any problems that comes from dealing with her and her mental health issues that he doesn't want to deal with, with me.

    I worried about the same things as you regarding the kids but he is better off, i am better off and you and yours will too i believe.(*hug*)