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Told my Mum and had a bad reaction!

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Penpal, Jun 7, 2014.

  1. Penpal

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    My Mum wanted to know what my ex-husband had got over me. Why was I scared. I told her I had feelings for a female friend and even though I never did anything about it he threatened to out me. She said just deny it and don't see that friend anymore you don't want people thinking you are gay. When I said why is that so bad, she said she hopes I'm not. Basically she said that she wouldn't tell anyone and I shouldn't or I will lose my friends. Not the reaction I was hoping for from my mum. So disappointed!:icon_sad:
     
  2. paris

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    (*hug*)
     
  3. Ugh, that sounds like something my mom would say. I'm so sorry to hear Penpal, hopefully she will come to be accepting one day.
     
  4. Mirko

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    Hi there! Sorry to hear that your mom reacted in this way. (*hug*)

    As hard as this might be, give your mom some time. It is possible that she will come around, and be more supportive or at the very least accepting.
     
  5. Raikamaru

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  6. Clay

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    Pretty sure you know your friends better than your mum. I wouldn't listen to her if I were you.
     
  7. Sig

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    Oh, PP! So sorry. Just what you needed, less support than you already have. :frowning2:

    (*hug*)
     
  8. azure au

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    Hopefully she might just need some time penpal. It is upsetting however. Sending hugs your way.
     
  9. Vaettfang

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    Someone needs a hug. (*hug*)

    Don't worry, she'll come around eventually! :newcolor::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:
     
  10. PinkBelle

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    Hey Penpal! Sounds like she probably has never ever thought about the possibility of her daughter being gay. I am sure she said whatever came to her mind first. My mother would most probably fall over and sob "what did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this?" And eventually she will probably ask me to not be gay in her presence, ie not bring girlfriends over etc. But in time I would like to believe that she will get used to it and accept me for who I am. I am a mother and I cannot think of anything that my kids could do or say that would cause me to love them any less. Your mom will come around. Try to give her the time she needs. Xxx
     
  11. Richie.

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    Yeah you might want tell your mom the truth that you are gay in your own time, at the moment your not, and she can go about her life knowing your not gay.

    When she is in the loop she will have no choice but to confront it, ignorance is bliss after all..

    Don't worry your gonna be fine.n but I know it's easier to say than believe
     
  12. blokeinthecorne

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    My Mom's very Irish Catholic! She believes it's ok as long as I'm not practicing! The one thing she doesnt want me to get better at! However, now she also talks to my partner/husband and feels he's the best in-law that she has! Time does change things and you never can tell how that change will go! Hang in there and be you
     
  13. idkgrrrl

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    I'm so sorry to hear that. /:

    You should talk to your mom and tell her that she hurt you by saying that.
    She's your mom and she'll understand cause she loves you.
    She seems like she just needs a push in the right direction.
     
  14. LostInside

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    I'm so sorry your mom reacted that way, but like others have said maybe she just needs time. With time she will probably accept it and be ok with it. That had to be extremely hurtful to hear though.
     
  15. Penpal

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    Thanks for the support guys. I have spoken to her and she hasn't mentioned the conversation. She is more interested in finding out about the girlfriend my husband has. I told her I don't care about that, he's treated me badly and I don't want him.
    She did e-mail and said she would support me in my decision. It just feels awkward that I have told her and she doesn't want dad or my sister to know. It doesn't feel like I have made much progress. What you say first in a situation is usually what you really believe. I can feel how disappointed she is with me.
    On the plus side I have met some people this week who are gay and have been really good to me. They have been through this and are happy together. It gives me hope. Although their family didn't reject them.
    Thanks again everyone. One foot out the closet maybe? :-/
     
  16. Hi there, hopefully she'll realize what a wonderful blessing she has and come to accept it. :slight_smile:
    congrats on being honest! :thumbsup:
     
  17. Penpal

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    My mum sent me a message today saying she loves me and is thinking of me. I hope this means she is accepting me now?