Back and forth...I tell him, I don't tell him. It's driving me nuts. I want to tell someone. If I tell a real life person it would be more real. I need a confidant. Someone who knows me and won't reject me and all this shite I have brought over myself. I shouldn't be married with kids. I love them to bits...but what the heck. How could I not have known? Deep down I know I knew. Man!
I feel ya. I am in a 10 year relationship with a daugther...and i all i keep thinking is that i wished i woulda been true with myself when I was younger. But I love my daughter. I wouldn't trade her for anything. But now I feel stuck.
I completely understand. Deciding to come out to my ex-husband was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made. I also have children, and the guilt is always there. I ask myself at least once a day how I didn't know, especially when it was so obvious. It was 3 months ago that I came out for the first time and 2 and a half months ago that I told my ex. We are now roommates, and the kids know as well. He was understandably upset and hurt initially, but he came to be very accepting. He was also relieved because all of our 'problems' had nothing to do with him (other than the fact that he is male). The day I told him was one of the most difficult days of my life, but it was also the most liberating day, and I wish I had done it earlier for both of our sakes. What he was most upset about was that I waited 6 months after I came out to myself to tell him. I'm not sure what your relationship is like, but do what feels right for you. You may feel guilty about not knowing, and it's natural. Whatever the outcome will be remember to be proud of who you are, and don't feel like you need to apologize for it. Good Luck!
