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Signs of sexual ambivalence

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Markoso, Jun 12, 2014.

  1. Markoso

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    Me and two friends of mine (man and woman) who are all in the process of exploring our sexuality, we were talking last night about certain signs in the sexual life of man-woman couple which might show that one of the partners is not totally straight.
    With a man: - delayed ejaculation
    - premature ejaculation
    - unwillingness to perform oral sex on woman

    With a woman: - vaginism
    - unwillingness to perform oral sex on man

    Of course, there are also other, more obvious signs (e. g. erectile disfunction, general lack of sexual interest), but I think there have already been some threads on that.

    What is your experience and opinion?
     
  2. LostMyself

    LostMyself Guest

    Well I Defintly don't enjoy oral sex I hate having to put it in my mouth makes me dry reach don't mind the sex part but in saying that.Im not sure if a woman who doesn't give oral makes her gay maybe in my case maybe but I don't think all straight women like doing it they may have other preferences.
     
  3. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    None of those sound like they have anything to do with sexuality; they're medical conditions. Most women with vaginismus are heterosexuals that seek help to enjoy sex, same with men with ED and ejaculation problems. Disliking oral is just a preference. I think the thought of giving it would be kind of difficult myself because I have sensory processing disorder. It's not mentally gross to me and I would try...but the dislike for doing it would be based on a medical problem and not an attraction thing.
     
  4. confusedmale

    confusedmale Guest

    I think there are signs, that you can watch for, but I dont think the ones u mention would have me guessing. Then again everyone is different so nothing is set in stone.
     
  5. Markoso

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    Yes, Fallingdown, of course these are medical conditions, but such kind of medical conditions usually stem from psychological origins, aren't they?

    E. g. a man who is, let's say, bisexual has got delayed ejaculation while having sexual intercourse with a woman. Delayed ejaculation in this case is most probably a natural consequence of insufficient sexual arousal. Isn't that completely logical?
     
  6. looking for me

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    maybe, but not necessarily. looking at something like this needs a broader lens i think.
     
  7. Kreativ

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    I understand what Looking is saying about ED, preferences in sexual activities, etc. not being confused for one thing being another. The old Freudian joke being, 'Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.' But, I think I know where Markoso is coming from. One of the signs that I knew I couldn't ignore my own homoerotic feelings was when having sex with a female partner, frequently I needed to fantasize I was with a man to 'get me over the top.'
     
  8. paris

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    Yes, from TCM point of view most of the health issues have a psychological origin but you can't generalize and assume that e.g. all women who suffer from vaginism are (closeted) lesbians. Some of those women are straight women who just fear of pregnancy, childbirth, were sexually abused in the past, lack of sexual knowledge and fear of sexual act, etc. Speaking about erectile dysfunction, the brain needs to be properly aroused, and it's probably the best accomplished with the "right gender", but there is also general health as another factor.
    I get your point though but I'd take those conditions you mentioned above just as a sign that may or may not indicate that one's not straight, nothing more.