I posted this in a different forum earlier, but then I saw this was meant for older people and thought I'd try here as well. I'm 35 years old. I have always considered myself straight. In the last two years (last year especially) I have been thinking that I might be bi. I find my thoughts constantly turning to sexual thoughts of women. I've always found women attractive and could appreciate women, but now it's more than acknowledgment. It's a sexual attraction. I've never been with a woman. I feel like the only way I'll know for sure is if I have a sexual experience with a woman. Is that right? Here's the problem with that: I've tried out some gay clubs, reset my settings on ###### to include women, even some websites. When lesbian or bi women find out that I've never been with a woman, they assume I'm some bi-curious straight girl (which I guess I am) and that I'm just going to jerk them around. I'm not sure how to take the next step. It's all very confusing. I don't want to insult anyone or hurt anyone's feelings, but I have no idea how to go about experimenting.
Don't have to be with a woman to know you want to be with one. Sounds like you're bi, but really, you're the only one who can know that for sure. I knew I wanted to be with a woman since I was about 6 or 7, and didn't actually have a relationship with one until I was 15. I asked a friend for advice on this, and she says: If you're looking to experiment, but not get attached (or to start a relationship), try finding someone who is polyamorous. I'm (she) is poly, and some of my (her) relationships go deeper than sexual intimacy, but some of them are solely for sexual intimacy. All parties involved know about each other, and are mutually consenting.
Hi Jillianp, I've been pondering a lot of these sorts of things myself. What I'm wondering is why you or I would need to tell the other person so early in the process? I'm guessing you haven't kept a running total of just how many times you've had sex with a man that you mention with each new partner? I dunno, but I guess it's just like any other consensual sexual encounter one might have in that if you're uncomfortable about something, empower yourself to stop. I mean, it might feel awkward and, hey, maybe they'll wonder why you seem unsure of yourself or something. Seems like there's a time to tell them that's later than one of the first things one says that might be more effective.
