well, as i have said here im out to my counselor. i mentioned that i was in contact with the PFLAG chapter in the capital, about 100 miles from where i live/work and that the guy was trying to find some one for me to network with so i could have someone to talk with and find out about the local "scene" but he was having difficulty finding any one. she said she might be able to help, so she called me and gave me contact information for a local person. now, here's the step. im out to her, me and you all, my son doesn't know and i am going to be getting a divorce in the next few weeks and if she finds out i am Bi before things are settled she will make a things really bad as my son lives with me but he is only 15 and i don't want to come out completely yet. i am scared to death, well not death but nervous as all heck. so any feed back? should i do it or should i stay "in"? oh man. what to do.
I wonder if you couldn't "prime" your son without actually coming out. Something along the lines of "what's the worst thing you could learn about me?". Most likely answer, that you were dying. Then you assure him you're not and that he may learn something about you soon that is way less than dying and you just want him to know that you still love him and everything will be just as cool as before and maybe cooler. Maybe phrase it in such a way that it sounds like it's in reference to the divorce? I'm just thinking if he's "primed", then whatever comes up with your ex-wife, he'll be more prepared? And then you could bring it up after the divorce proper. (Now that I read this over, it still seems like a hard conversation but maybe you can massage it for your situation).
When you say you are "getting a divorce in the next few weeks", do you mean the divorce will be finalised in the next couple of weeks or will it be just the beginning of proceedings? If divorce will be finalised, I'd just wait. If, on the other hand, there is some way to go I would let your 'contact' know the state of play so things can remain discreet. You'll still have a local connection, but with a bit of discretion, things will not blow up like you are worried about. Let me know if I've misunderstood anything.
Hey folks thanks for the replys, keep 'em coming. Linco, divorce is pretty straight forward in this province. if you have been seperated for a year, check; and the other spouse does not contest the divorce petition, hopefully, there is a court order of divorce issued and you are no longer married. Really, i've been kind of softening him up a bit for the past few months by talking about LGBT stories that come up on the news, etc. he seems pretty accepting, even telling me that he was questioning himself. i told him i would love and support him what ever he decided.
Well, it sounds like it's all good then. Just find a distraction to shut out the internal noise for a couple of weeks and then you're good to go. Haha. Easier said than done, I know, but what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, right? (Or some such thing).
