I'm desperate to be me, but life isn't having any of it

Hi quietman, i feel your pain and frustration, and wish you all the best, and hope that it works out.
What's the tattoo? (is nice)
Tc

 

Oh quietman, my heart really does feel sad for you. I wish there was an easy answer.
(*hug*)

 

Hello Quietman702 -thats a bummer. I have had something similar happen to me in the last month or so. Mine is also connected with my immune system. Going for blood tests at the moment and hoping it is not what the doctors think it is. Thankfully I have not been off work-I have no symptoms yet but not sure what the future will bring medically speaking. Despite the criticism the NHS gets in the UK, one thanks god for it when medical crises occur. Like you I wondered where this left me personally speaking. For the time being, as long as I can work and earn, I am staying on my journey to be who I am.

 

hi quietman

there are quite a few herbal formulations that can support the immune system. Astragalus is amazing. I once had this sort of abscess in my jawbone, from a rotting molar. The pain was pretty bad. After just THREE DAYS of taking this herb (it was in liquid form, combined with reishi mushroom), my immune system was able to deal with the abscess to the extent that, although the tooth still had to be pulled out, the god-awful swelling and pain was almost gone. I take this tonic in emergencies as being into natural foods etc I don't get sick very often, but when I do take it, goodness it strengthens and supports my immune system. Anyway, if you go to a good health food store, they should have some. Worth a try, maybe.

As for your state of mind, do take heart. Good that you posted here, we are all here to support each other. If there is one certainty in life, it is that things change, either sooner or later. You will be able to explore this side of yourself, it will happen. Think like that. In my case, I haven't even kissed a guy yet, and I desperately want to...I'm also frustrated as hell. But in my mind I have already made passionate love to lots of guys...oh the pain of having to wait!

hang in there
bf
(*hug*)

 

Good luck quietman. I wish I could return the favor of the advice you gave to me. And then again I'm not sure I'm in any position to be giving good advice! If anything, be true to yourself and keep your chin up. I hope that helps even if just a little. Will be thinking of you.

 

This sucks, but try to remember that it is just about where you are 'right now'. Where you are right now does not define how the rest of your life will play out.

The other thing that I'll say is that similar to you, I had a 'mystery disease' a year before I came out to my wife. Nobody could tell me what it was, but I had extreme joint pain, insomnia, and then just a constant burning pain in my hands. It seemed to go away with the use of an anti-seizure medication, but I'm not sure that is what did it.

In hindsight, I believe it was the extreme stress that I was under. My body just couldn't cope with the strain that I was putting on myself. It flared up again before we took our last family vacation a few months before I came out, and it hasn't happened since. (knock on wood!)

I can't help but wonder if you might be suffering for the same reasons.

Have you talked about what's going on in your personal life with your family doctor? Do you have access to counselling services so that you could talk to someone about all this? It might help.

 

Good thoughts and vibes being sent your way. Stay strong!

 

Hi quietman,

good that you come here, as yes you can always talk to us for support if things get tough (or rather, even tougher than they already are). Just wanted to say that in my life, natural medicine - plant foods, herbal preparations, herbal teas, tinctures, and the like - have helped me so much over the years. I have hardly even taken a painkiller, what to speak of a pharmaceutical drug over the last ten years (I did once or twice to have a tooth extracted), otherwise all I use is natural medicine, and it really does work for me. Even just getting a good vitamin c powder to mix into water or juice can help your immune system, plus so many other things. If you have access to a good health food store, I just wanted to suggest, that in addition to whatever other drugs / medicines you are taking, that you do consider the benefits of also taking care of yourself via the miraculous powers of herbs and plants. They really can help, just wanted to say...

and I too am sending *love and goodwill* your way... (&&&)

Damien

 

Life throws at you what you can cope with.. I truelly believe this. You're obviously strong, and I also believe life works out what you need and gives it you when the time is right. Sure this is a kick in the teeth, and another mountain to get too.. One day at a time... Moment by moment hour by hour.. You sound like your a good man, you've done the right thing with regard to your wife.. Karma will reward you!