I never considered myself to be attracted to women until I met the woman that caught my eye. She is a butch and much younger then I am. And has always been comfortable with being gay. My dgtr who is 20 knows and is fine with it as she is gay. I have a 14 year old son who doesnt know yet and still wants me with his father so thats gonna be tough. My problem now is telling my mom. I have never not told her everything. But being in a relationship for 4 months now with someone who is.openly gay really wants me to tell my mom. I just dont even know how to go about telling her. She Will be so shocked and I know worried about what it means for me in this lifestyle. What to do?
Does your mom know that your daughter is gay? If she does, what was her reaction? She will probably be shocked, but she may be accepting once she has time to process it. What kind of relationship do you have with your mom? Try to explain to her that you are prepared for this lifestyle which is why you have decided to tell her at this point. Give her space, and hopefully it will work out. If this is what you want. Ultimately it's your life and if your girlfriend is important to you and you want her in your life, then go for it. Be prepared in case your mom has a negative reaction, which hopefully won't be the case, but if it is, be prepared emotionally. As for your son, it will be tough, but most kids want their parents to be together. I told my kids, and my youngest is 8 that I like girls and I don't like boys which means I can't be married to a boy anymore. Took her a little to understand, but she accepted it right away.
Thanks for your reply. Yes my mom knows about my dgtr. She as well as other family members are ok with it. But I feel it may be different with me since I have never been with a woman until now. My mom and some family have met my gf but only think she is a "friend". My gf is very obviously gay as she is a butch so they know she is gay. We shall see how this turns out. Family cookout on the 4th and my gf really wants me to tell at least my mom. Btw I have met all of my gf family and they like me and are used to her being with a woman. So its hard for her to trust that "Im really in this relationship" when noone but coworkers and my dgtr know which is understandable. She still feels like I'm experimenting being with a woman. Which is not the case. I really feel like I was supposed to be with a woman all along. It just feels right. :icon_bigg:icon_bigg
Honestly, from how the situation sounds, it'll probably be ok and go better than you expect. Your mom seems accepting, and she may question it but once she sees you with your gf, she'll probably stop questioning. I have no experience with women, but I know they are the ones I'm attracted to, there is no doubt about that. I don't feel the need to experiment, I'm waiting until I meet someone. Straight people will question us, and may think it's a phase, but they don't realize is that they were attracted to the opposite sex before they did anything about it, and their attractions were considered normal. They didn't have to deny and repress to the point they may not have been aware as happened with me, anyways. They can go with their natural instincts and they see us in opposite sex relationships and assume we're straight, and then we tell them no we like same sex, it's confusing for them. Just like initially it is for us, except they don't have the feelings we do that tells us who we are attracted to. Then they think we may be confused. You may be surprised, she may already suspect, especially with your gf being around, and she could be waiting for you to be comfortable enough to tell her. I have a friend I've known since high school and she used to flirt with me all the time, and I began to suspect she was gay. I remember the conversation when she told me and I told her I already knew, she was so surprised and asked how did I know, she just discovered it. I did know, and I thought if she doesn't know, then maybe she's not ready for it, and I knew when she was ready, she would know. Your mom may know, but is waiting for you to tell her. Sounds like you may be ready for the next step!
I am in my forties, in my first relationship with another woman and I told my Mum a month ago. I was dreading telling her, really couldn't pluck up the courage. All of a sudden I decided 'it's now or never'. She was brilliant even though she was shocked. I do think she feels it is going to be a 'phase', so still a little way to go! I am sure your mum will be supportive, the overwhelming emotion for mothers is to see their children happy no matter what their age. If you show her how happy you are and that you know this is right for you she will most likely accept the situation and be happy for you. I wish you the best of luck!
