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coming out to my family doctor....

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by looking for me, Jun 25, 2014.

  1. looking for me

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    well i have an appointment next week with my family doctor and i plan to come out to him. i need to do this before i come out to my son because our Dr. is counseling him about the divorce etc. i plan to wait till the divorce settles before i tell the kid because i don't want to lay everything on him at the same time.

    big step for me.:eek:
     
  2. TJ

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    I assume he'll react well, but I guess surprises do happen. Good luck, and let us know how it goes!! :slight_smile:

    That's a good thought for your child, and for your health. Doctors should be aware of what all's going on in your life.
     
  3. greatwhale

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    I came out to mine (been with him for about 25 years), and even though he is my ex's doctor as well, I have no concerns and he was relatively neutral about it. I presented him with the results of any STI testing I had done in the past, so I demonstrated to him that I am responsible and knowledgeable about the health risks associated with being gay and sexually active.

    By the way, just got tested again on Monday as part of routine testing, you may want to discuss with him this option.
     
  4. looking for me

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    good point on the STI's although i haven't gotten tested before i have only been with one person and that was the ex but getting tested would give peace of mind and a baseline to go by. reassurance for any future partners as well.:thumbsup:

    ---------- Post added 25th Jun 2014 at 10:40 AM ----------

    thanks, that boy is everything to me. and the only good thing to come out of his mother.
     
  5. Pete1970

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    Good luck. When I told my doctor (who also is my wife's doctor), he told me I should do everything to stay married and that I shouldn't have sex with other men. Didn't give any advice on safe sex or anything like that.
     
  6. looking for me

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    :lol:well stay married won't work. she had me served last week. the rest i don't know but i do know that if he doesn't want to deal with my coming out, there is a sexual health centre in the city that i can go to.
     
  7. Tightrope

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    Oh, boy, they can be jerks. Real jerks. Motivated by money.

    To the OP, the doctor (an MD) is counseling your son? Shouldn't a psychiatrist (clearly a MD) or other mental health provider be doing that, unless I missed that in the thread?

    My doctors have known that I border on being a hypochondriac and know every single thing that has happened to me, every single drug I've been prescribed, and all the values of any blood work. They don't broach that area. They know I read too much and know I can take care of myself. However, when in my mid 30s, this weasel of a doctor I had seen for the first time, comes in, sits down, and the first thing he asks me is "Have you had any homosexual experience?" He was nothing to look at, but doctors can always find some woman to marry them and close their eyes when they're having sex, so he probably was fishing because I looked better than he did and was single.

    I don't think you should have it all cascade on the kid. If your sexual health is in check, and you can do that by testing through other public means, sometimes free of charge, then learn what it entails to stay safe, if you don't already know. Personally, I think there should be a small time gap for the kid to absorb this additional information. I'm not sure, but I'm guessing it's always a little harder on the kids that are the same gender as the parent who is coming out. I've generally heard that men's daughters take it better and men's sons can be ok with it ... or can struggle with it and then come to terms with it.

    However, I don't think a family practice doctor should be counseling your son. It's beyond his purview.
     
  8. looking for me

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    Hey Tightrope. Im in canada so things are a little different. my family doc is a certifed counselor as well as a MD and he's pretty good. but i do appreciate your concerns. as for the question of if i've had any same sex relations i expect that question. he knows im pretty level headed and taking care of the kid is my number one job. i do think that while it will be a bit of a shock he'll (kid) will take it pretty well, he seems open to LGBT people, "who someone loves isn't my business" he said to me once a while ago. my blood work will be covered my our univeral health care plan (not obamacare) i can get that ordered either from the family doc or from the sexual health centre that i mentioned a little bit ago.

    still a big step for me. the only people who know about this are my counselor, who only knows me in a clinical setting, me of course and you all. i've known this doctor since 1995 when i moved back home.
     
  9. Tightrope

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    ^

    The idiot MD here in the U.S. who made that his first question was in the bluest of states, or one of the bluest. It was just his "issue" and his being improper.

    If your MD there in Canada went through what it takes to be credentialed as a counselor as well, and you are comfortable with this person and this person is respectful of you, then I would summon their input on how to incorporate this new dynamic with your entire family. It sounds like you know the landscape and what your doctor is really like. Good luck with the process.
     
  10. Horizon55

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    I just want to add that as much as I continue to struggle with this myself with a psychologist, letting my family doctor in on what was going on has been hugely helpful too. She and the psychologist are on the same page in their support for me, identifying the issues and how to move forward. She (my family doc) is also my wife's family doc and our adult kids…. and she is being and will be so supportive of them no matter how things unfold… I see this from our conversations.

    It wash't easy to share this with her but it has helped to broaden my network of support by the addition of someone who has known me along time (over ten years) and my family situation.

    Good luck