So where to begin. I am a 44 year old women who is currently getting out of a sloppy marriage, that's only positive is my 3 beautiful children. I have always appreciated the beauty of a woman but overall considered my self straight. About 4 months ago a younger woman was hired in my department. I'm a manger but not hers so there is no conflicts. Anyways, she's smart, funny and absolutely beautiful. Thin, long blonde hair, blue eyes, femme, and totally gay. And here I am middle aged with 3 kids and a train wreck of a previous marriage. I know she generally dates older women she's 28. I don't even know how to approach this, all I know is I want her. Any advice please.
Do you have an employee LGBT group or anything? Do you and her have any shared interests? Also maybe for her, kids are a plus because she won't have to worry about the whole process of having kids with another woman. Maybe she thinks youre awesome and doesnt care at all about your past marriage; everyone has past baggage. You're not the only one. Start seeing the positive side of all that you are; I imagine your negative self-talk is not doing you any good.
Hi MBJ never ceases to amaze me how many folks here also only realize in mid-life, that they actually have same-sex attraction. I thought I was going to be like some rare exception here. Anyway, welcome, and i think that just cultivating a friendship with this lady might be a good place to begin, and you can see where it leads. I wish you well with that...sorry I can't offer a lot of advice as I am so new to this world myself, I have not even kissed a guy as yet, although I am determined to change that as soon as possible...
Hi there and welcome to EC! You've come to the right place. Step one is usually coming out to the person you are interested in. You refer to her as "totally gay" - what does that mean? Has she come out and said that she's gay? How do you know? If she has been very open about it, then that is perhaps your way of bringing up the subject. When you have a moment with her you could compliment her on her courage or transparency, and that you are questioning your orientation but not sure how open you want to be about it. At that point, she knows and also understands that you don't necessarily want to make it widely known (unless of course you're OK with that...). Then I suppose you could go one of a couple of ways. You could see about developing a friendship with her to get to know her better and see where it goes. OR you could let her know that you have a thing for her and ask her out for coffee or something. As for the age difference - you're both well into adulthood, both working - and your kids and your last relationship, they don't really matter. Don't sweat it. Good luck! There are lots of people here who have been where you are. They'll perhaps have other advice.
She isn't openly gay at work, but she has let me know she is gay. I was having issues with my separation/divorce and she is so easy to talk to. She stopped me one time before I started talking and said, "I feel like you don't have many people you can talk to or trust, so I'm letting you know I'm gay, full disclosure I want to be honest with you and for you to know I am trustworthy, I don't want you finding out from someone else when your sharing so much of your personal life with me." I was shocked. Mostly because this girl has guys falling all over her at work. No indicators she was gay.
What I get from your posts is that youre questioning your sexuality, youre attracted to this woman and you want to date her? Before getting into dating someone when you arent sure about your sexuality and they are, since you confide things in her anyway I would tell her you are questioning your sexuality and ask her to tell you about herself... She may or may not be attracted to you, and its probably uncertain at this point if she would date someone who is questioning. I'd just start talking to her about your own questioning and go from there.
Get to know her as friends. Does she have a partner? Find out. Talk about stuff other than your divorce, get coffee, hang out... See what happens!
Thank you all for the responses and advice. Yes, I am questioning, as I said previously I always considered myself straight. This woman is special. When we talk she just understands and I know she's much younger but she is completely wise for her age. I've never had someone make me feel so at ease, and paid attention to. I can tell how much she genuinely cares about me.
I think the best way to go ahead would be to go out for coffee. Be friends, tell her you are questioning your sexuality. See how the friendship goes, this way you will find out more about her. She is out, I feel if she likes you she will know exactly how to tell you or start something with you. When I was 28 I met my partner who was 39 - it's the person you see not the age. If it's meant to be it will happen. Good luck.
