Hi. Just voicing my concerns about dealing with staff you fancy and are attracted to. This is made all the harder if they seem to be interested in onesself also... What to do? Tell them off, then give them a spanking in your mind? What if you need to let someone down at work, but then obviously that would jepordise any possible future you may have with them... Don't hire them in the first place if they are nice - safe yes, but no fun at all.. Just be totally.business bull headers about it? But that means ognoring the nice potentials... How to help them without doing all their work for them as you like them? I have three staff who I control and a host of other staff, not under my control, but who follow my directions. the advice is easy I guess, stick with the business guns, but that's like denial all over again.. .. I want to say, lets jump in the sack, them talk about it...
Ethically speaking, if you are in a position to hire or fire a person you are looking to have physical relations with- that's abuse. There is an unfair power differential. And you open yourself to lawsuits.
always be professional, if you do meet up outside of work then keep the relationship outside of work. Especially if you are this persons manager you don't want to be seen as giving favouritism to an employee. Also if you do get together with someone and then you split up it could cause all sorts of problems for both of you. I had someone at work who fancied me, he didn't say anything but just tried to kiss me when I was alone in the office so I made a complaint under sexual harrassment laws. Obviously he didn't know I was gay and had never kissed a guy he just thought he would try his luck but it did backfire on him and he ended up getting into trouble. You don't want to get into a situaltion where you are getting done for sexual harrassment.
If you hire/fire and/or supervise, you CAN NOT have a relationship with that person and have it be appropriate. Flirting, hinting, anything that in any way indicates your attraction to them is off limits, and even if the person seems to like it, such behavior can get your company sued if the person at some later point decides s/he doesn't like it. You're in a position of power over them and any sexual or romantic behavior would be considered abusive. That isn't to say it doesn't happen, but that's why the founder/CEO of American Apparel is now out of a job. That's one of the sucky things about being a manager/supervisor, but it comes with the territory.
Flirting or hinting is so true. I was in Human Resources for 15 years and even saying or hinting that you are gay to someone who is gay (even if you did not know he or she was) is considered as you are "creating Hostile Environment" which constitutes to Sexual Harrassment. Suggesting that you go for an after work drink is also not proper. Yeah, it does suck but so does a multi-million lawsuit from an individual whom you thought was nice and friendly but who was looking for "the big bucks". By the way, this also includes customers, or visiting salesman to your company. I am 62 years old and found my "love of my life" through an online dating service. You will have to kiss some frogs on the way before you get to your prince. Lucky for me, I got him on the first try and me from him on the third.