I was with my partner for 14 years...We'd moved to a large city for the 1st time in our relationship. She became very active in two 12 step programs and she had a wonderful job for the 1st time in her career. I tried very hard to support her and tried being involved in her programs. About a year ago, I lost my job. I could no longer do the work I'd been doing for the past 10 years, because it has taken a toll on my body. I had other marketable skills, so I started applying for jobs.... I had interviews, but no bites. It was a very sore point of contention between us... She knew what I did for a living when we met and she knew my educational background... At any rate, she came home one day and said it was time to end the relationship, that we'd grown apart (between her programs, her yoga and yoga retreats and her personal trainer, she was never home!)I reacted badly and took a bunch of pills....I couldn't see being able to start all over again at 60...:icon_sad: I ended up in an inpatient detox ward for six days...I got alot of good from it. When I got out, I found out that she didn't intend to let me back into our apartment ( even though my name was on the lease) and she refused to have contact with me. She still has most of my belongings and she continues to refuse contact with me. I ended up having to move 5 hours away....no money, no job, nobody I knew or no place I knew. It's been since the 22nd of May since she's spoken to me. She says If I want my things I have to sign a piece of paper taking myself off the lease and then I can have them. I can't just roll over and I can't believe that after 14 years, this is all that's in her heart...My heart is broken and I feel like a fool...I'm just numb... thanks for listening. Beth
It's good, Beth, that you came to us, if only to allow us to offer you comfort and hope. Your signature says it all; keep posting, you have our attention and our best wishes for a better tomorrow!
Beth I am so sorry that you are going through this. I cant even imagine what you must be feeling right now. My heart goes out to you. Please continue to let us know how you're doing.
Oh Beth, what a sad things are going on in your life. I'm so sorry, and wish I could do more than a virtual hug. As others have said, please don't feel that you're totally alone, this little EC "family" will be there for you whenever you need support. (*hug*)
Hello, So sorry you are going through this it must be horrible for you. Firstly - don't sign anything that could be a legal document that could be used against you at a later date. On a practical level, she can't take your stuff, that is theft, so you need to get everything you own out of her flat. Is there a friend or relative that can act as a go between for you to talk to her and help you move your stuff out. Is there anyone official, like somone from the local government / council that could help you with housing and benefits / welfare you might be eligable for. I know this sounds quite heartless but you do need to look after yourself financially and really be on top of the legal side of ending your relationship. I know you wernt married but when people split up everything is so over emoutional people do horrible things out of spite. You need to keep in mind that you have a legal right to your belongings and that there is financial and official support that you are intitled to recieve. This is what you pay your taxes for. Everyone here has given you lots of hugs and I do wish you the best of luck but do remember to keep calm and the quicker you can sort out your life financially then the easier it will be to move forward. If you still have things at her place then it is harder to seperate your relationship.
After thinking about this, it seems unbelievable that she is preventing you from going to the place with your name on the lease. Police action would not be unwarranted...
I agree you need to get some legal advice. You are hurting and grieving which is awful but if you have the strength you need to fight for what is rightfully yours. I'm sorry she has treated you like this. I really don't understand why people go out of their way to hurt you. Look after yourself. (*hug*)
