My boyfriend bought a new box of condoms on Monday. It's a 12-piece box and when I imagined what the condoms are supposed to be used for I had a serious meltdown. It was just another reason why I have to tell him. We were meeting yesterday again and I felt ready to do it, especially after listening to Sara Bareilles' Brave that was posted here on the forum. I prepared the conversation, different version of it, in my head. I knew he's looking forward to sex and I decided to go with the flow (not the best idea because the sex was horrible) and tell him afterwards. Then we went to have a coffee. He told me I was short tempered that I explained by getting up really early which he answered it wasn't just today, that I've been like that lately. He thinks it's because of my exam. Bam! It was such a great opener when I could tell him “It's not because of the exam, you know, but...” but I just chickened out and couldn't say a word. :bang: We were talking about usual stuff instead and I was just sitting there and thinking how caring and perfect he is and how it'll hurt him. I don't know if it's because I'm more sensitive to it but it seems to me that he's been more thoughtful and more touchy recently. I need to tell him, every cell in my body screams I have to tell him, but it's so hard. I'm such a coward.
Don't worry about the missed opportunity. You probably want to do it when you've had a chance to come at it from a calmer place in your mind, anyway.
Thank you, Really. You're probably right. I read again and again that we come out when we're ready and I know there will be other opportunities but I so wish to be ready already! It's frustrating.
