Best city to come out in?

My goal is to move to SF when I decide to properly start my life. I know people who live there and I've seen the city and it seems like one of the most welcoming cities.

Also, ADVENTURE TIME FAN :OOOOO <3

lots of love,
Andy

 

Isn't that the ultimate coming out dream. To move to a new city, anonymous and start your life new as a gay man or woman. Sounds great to me.

I wonder what you might be missing out on. I can't say for sure as I am only out to a handful of people myself but I think the coming out process has is important part of becoming a fully matured gay man or woman. There were several people in which my X outed me to (it was fine with me at the time... not malicious) and with each of those people I feel now as though I lost a conversation... a reaction good or bad.... and a chance for growth, and self acceptance on my way to being the confident gay man I want to be.

 

SF is not cheap either. And the public transit is nowhere near as good as NYC, which will add to your costs.

It is the ultimate dream, right? To just remake yourself somewhere new? I'm planning on moving towards the city core here, which I wanted to do anyway. I'll be within walking distance of our little gay area. I wish we had high speed rail, cause then SF would be less than an hour away, but I'll still visit anyway. I mean, I go there a few times a year anyway, now I just have different reasons.

I do wonder if I could figure out a way to move to Berlin, cause I liked it traveling there and it's supposed to have quite a gay scene. Not sure about the winters though.

 

Hi! i have not been to any of the mentioned cities/states but i'd say moving to a new place is always great. in your case, not only because its gay friendly but in every aspect. it gives your life a new meaning.. meeting to new people and staying out of your 'known' and comfort zone is always a great thing to do. You never know whats in store for you.. you must give it a chance and start all over speaking from personal experiences

 

a two part answer.
1. the best place is where you have accepting friends and a support group or network.
2. The place of acceptance is not outside your head but within your head. You first have to accept yourself.
my love and I live and love n Astoria, queens, just 30 minutes by subway to Greenwich village and Chelsea in Manhattan, where there are the Gay bars you want and close to the Center for LGBT people. 2,000 bucks a month for one bedroom penthouse. Everyone is accepting of LGBT people. Fantastic.

 

Baltimore is a very open/accepting city, and it's not nearly as expensive as NYC, and is also very close to DC. I like it because it's laid back, but has been building up quite an arts community, and seems to have a lot of energy at the moment. It's big enough to be a real city, but small enough to be friendly. There isn't that frantic pace of NYC/Boston; it's a lot more mellow. It may seem a bit 'gritty' at first, but all in all, I've found it a welcoming place. (I moved here from Michigan in the late 1990s; grew up in a rural area)

 

Hi there,
Of those 3 cities, I've only lived in NYC but I was only 9 then so don't really have anything useful to add on that front but wouldn't a new neighbourhood and new job associates be new enough while still having access to current friends , etc?
(Did you draw your avatar? I really like it.)

 

I've lived in Atlanta for most of my life, and 99% of the people that I've come out to have been accepting (with the exception of a few church people and a lesbian family member who refuses to believe me). I'm proud to say that this is one of the few areas in the south where people are less likely to judge you based on your orientation.

I also lived in the Sarasota/Bradenton area of Florida for a few months. It was very accepting (probably due to the art culture there). The only person there who had a problem with it was my birth-father, but he's an asshat.

 

I live in Chicago and have never encountered any issues--plus the city's whole city of neighborhoods approach can be wonderful if you want to sort of immerse yourself in the life. For most of my twenties here I hardly even knew any straight people.:lol:

I don't think it's necessary to move somewhere new but I think it really helps. I came to Chicago for grad school and just sort of hit the ground running--you're not countering anyone's expectations, you're just setting them correctly from the get go. Other than coming out to my parents I've never really come out to anyone. I just showed up gay and by the time I went back (I grew up in Utah) it was already pretty well established that I was gay--no difficult conversations, just being me.

 

I love it here in Rochester, NY...except for the winters...I've lived in DC, London, Boston, Pittsburgh and Winston-Salem, NC...Not a lot of night life...but I'm middle-aged, came out in January...Very supportive community...oldest continuous gay newspaper in the country...very progressive...great arts, especially music and very diverse. It's a place that's welcoming and it's home...also a reasonable cost of living...near the Finger Lakes wine country...lot's of sailing, fairly horsey too.

Depends on what's important to you

 

Speaking mainly from personal experiences, NYC seems to be a gay mecca. I used to know someone who originally came from there and she said it was the gay capital of the world. It has always struck me as a very open-minded, anything goes sort of place. It does have a strong art movement, but it can be extremely pricey over there.

---------- Post added 6th Jul 2014 at 10:27 AM ----------

Is it, really? I know that may sound a little strange since I am from B-More, but I've never really associated it with openness or having a particularly large LGBT community. Then again, I've never really taken the time to embrace the city.

 

Yeah, I's say so, though it depends on where you are in it, to a degree. I'd say the core of the city that basically runs north along Charles street is the most interesting; I love the Station North Arts district a good deal, as well as Mount Vernon, Bolton Hill, Charles Village, Remmington, Hamden. There's a lot to do, a vibrant night life, a nice counter-cultural feel about it. I'm not as familiar with the burbs, or neighborhoods farther out, but the part I've lived in seems open, and with a good deal of LGBT people about.

 

So Denver, Colorado would be a good choice. A lot of people don't realize it, but we have the biggest Pride Parade in the nation, even bigger than SF. The center for performing arts is phenomenal and the LoDo (lower downtown area) is beautiful and artsy and so welcoming of all different types.

I've visited other places (NY, DC) but Denver just feels like a closer community and has a more intimate setting for the arts scene.

Of course I'm a native, so I'm a bit biased, but I love it here. And we were rated 12th best gay-friendly city in the nation, above NYC and LA if that makes the case. Here's an article too;
Denver ranks among most LGBT-friendly cities in America - The Denver Post

At least visit, we'd love to have you!

 

my view is that a new city offers a clean slate for you to mentally start fresh and be who you want to be without being encumbered by the "what is this person going to think" or will so-and-so see me in my new "gayness" and i knew them from my "straight closet world".

with that said, there is also something to be said for standing tall in your truth and taking a stand where you are. sometimes problems and "closets" tend to "move" with us. it would be sad to move all the way to a new city and start all over again as a closeted person.

my advice would be to sit down and really think where you would like to live in terms of finances, job, culture, and where you find the most happiness. even travel to the other potential cities to see if they feel like "home" to you. then make your decision on that. then wherever that location is start to come out in your own truth in your own time. for instance, if you really like NYC but only do not want to move back there because it would be harder for you to come out of your closet there, then i say force yourself to come out in NYC.

every city is going to have its pluses and negatives.

i'll leave you with a short story....there was a once a beautiful girl that lived in NYC and thought she was ugly. she was embarrassed by unconventional "strange" looks so she covered herself up, wore homely clothes, and did everything she could to hide herself. always looked down, didn't go to parties, and avoided eye contact with people. a job opening came up in San Fran so she decided to take it and be a computer geek in Silicon Valley. She felt it fit her personality more than NYC and nobody would care about looks or fashion in the land of the computer programmers. She moved. She thought the city was ok. One day when she was at the mall a modeling scout saw her and said she was beautiful and he wanted her to come to an open call he was doing. She took his card and researched him. He seemed legit. She thought, hey this would be a big laugh so why not call his bluff. She called him and attended the open call. They loved her unconventional look. Guess what, she got booked to a top agency in NYC of all places and eventually had to move back there anyway. Her unconventional look ended up selling tons of magazine covers. My point is, you do not have to run to another place to be who you are. who you are right now is amazing, and if you start to show yourself for who you really are, you do not need to start all over to do that.