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I've got it in my head...

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by sugarskull, Jul 6, 2014.

  1. sugarskull

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    So I am like 86.24564% sure I am gay. Sum things up quickly: I am 27 in a 10 year relationship with a man, and have a 3 year old. No one knows I am gay, let alone questioning it.

    So its been really eating at me for the last few months. Just nagging at me that everything is so wrong and how unhappy I am. Then comes this girl, oh thats why I am unhappy, I want to touch boobies.

    So anywho, I have decided I want to tell my dad first before my boyfriend. Is that weird? I feel like I need to have someone else there for me before I make that big step. My dad is my best friend, has always been supportive of me no matter what. He is awesome. He is also very close with my boyfriend so I'm thinking he will be able to help me with that too.
    And then this way, I can't get talked out of it by boyfriend, like guilt me into thinking I'm not gay. '

    I haven't figured out when. It will probably be a long time from now since I'm still in a denial quite feel.
    But it almost excites me that I'm thinking of a game plan. But scares the hell out of me all at the same time.

    eesh. Why couldn't I have come to this conclusion at 15?
     
  2. jnr183

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    I am a few years older than you. I have known that I was gay for longer than you seem to have known. I thought I would never tell anybody. Enough things happened along the way that a couple months ago I decided that telling people was unavoidable... and so I have started the process although I'm proceeding at a turtle's pace.

    That said, tell whoever you want to tell first. It is extremely personal and you need to do what's right, first and foremost, for you. The more I hear from other people's accounts, the more I realize how personal and unique of a process this is for anyone going through it.

    As for when, you will know when is right. It ate at me for a very long time and suddenly I just knew when the time was right. It is terrifying.... and hopefully for the best.

    As far as concluding at 15 vs. 27, who knows?! It is a little bit harder now, though, since people have a preconceived notion as to who you are, but with time the real you will become the new you to them.

    Good luck and keep us updated.
     
  3. sugarskull

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    Wow, thank you so much! I think I have always kinda known ( I considered myself bi until 20)
    Its getting to the point now its all I can think about. I wish I was just brave enough to be true to myself back then but then again, i wouldnt have my daughter. So who knows, everything happens the way it happens and hopefully some day I will be able to come and and be happy and content for once.
     
  4. jnr183

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    That is EXACTLY how I felt the first few times I told someone. The next few got a little easier. The next few after that haven't happened yet.... my courage seems to be intermittent.