Tell your partner/spouse that you thought you were gay? Did you feel guilty every day leading up to it? He keeps saying things like, "I'm glad we got another 40 years in us" "We are going to give Zoey a great family we never had" Ect ect ect... Making me feel like a dirty liar as I shake my head and cry on the inside. He's my best friend, we have been together for about 10 years. But I can't get it out of my head that I like boobies. Thats right, I'm learning to except I am gay. I feel odd still saying lesbian, so I just say gay. Is that weird? I feel like I have to question everything, everything I feel and do and say and think about. Nothing makes sense. :bang:
You sound so much like me almost 2 years ago. I felt guilty and scared and I like I could not breathe... For a few months it was enough after I came out to myself. I was happy. I had a plan to wait a bit longer before coming out to anyone else. Then that future I wanted so much started to feel so far away. I came out to most of my family before coming out to my husband. He was in shock for a while...I asked for a divorce and told him I was gay. And YES boobies are awesome! (*hug*)
Please fill me in when you figure out the best way to do it. I struggle everyday with the same dilemma. Hey Rose. How did you bring it up to him? I just can't seem to start. Boobies are wonderful.
My significant other has known about my attraction to females from day one. Literally, on our first lunch date he knew. Then, I had actually told myself that I would never be in another relationship with a man and told him that day I didn't want a serious relationship. I was lonely. Then it happened. Stupid me, I did it again. I have always joked that I about 75/25 in favor of women but I was only lying to myself. I know that I'm a lesbian. Women = 100% I can understand your feelings about your husband too. I love my SO because we are best friends, have a family together and have so much in common. I am not in love with him because, well, I can't be. Fortunately or unfortunately, we both enjoy the same things, including women. It's on my mind every day. I love everything about women. I find every curve beautiful, every imperfection perfect. I feel like I'm living a lie. In my mind, a heterosexual lie.
Dancing Girl: I wish I had written out what I wanted to say before I talked to him because in the moment I blurted out I wanted a divorce 1st. I was so sure if I told him I was gay my marriage would be over that day. It wasn't but I was so caught up in my fear that I could not see any other outcome.
It's better to plan it out. I had been at school that day and told some of my friends and by this point very depressed, and yes guilty. He used to say how he wanted us to be one of the cute old couples who held hands and all I could think was I'm gay. When I was home after school I tried to fight from stop crying, (also head over heels for my trigger crush at the time), and he looked at me and asked if I was ready to talk. Things had not been good for years, but the previous months were so unbearable he had decided he was leaving me, but decided to give us one more try. when he told me that all I could think was I wish he had, then I'd finally be free. Anyways, he asked me and then I couldn't stop crying and told him. And, I had to work that night, so I went to work after coming out to him, not knowing what he was thinking, and I was a mess all night. In the end, everything seems to have worked out. We are not together as couple, we live as roommates with separate rooms and separate lives, and do things separately with kids as well.
Well, I didn't. I know I have to, I know it's inevitable but I haven't found the courage yet. I feel I'm heading there step by step though. At first I was feeling incredibly guilty and selfish but over the time I've realized I did nothing wrong. It's not my fault that I'm gay and I didn't know I'm gay back then. Moreover it's not like he was unhappy during those almost 14 yrs when we've been together... I think in order to be able to have that talk with him I need to get myself in a less guilty and more assertive frame of mind. I know I'll hurt him but to tell him and break up with him is the best thing for both of us to do. The thing I worry the most is that I lose him as a friend... I can't imagine not to have him in my life.
Hi Sugar. For me I came to the point where I could no longer lie about my sexuality to her or myself. I know that if I didn't I was near to ending everything. Yes I felt guilty but more so afterwards. I don't presume to understand with a child in the picture as our daughter is an adult. Please be assured that nothing you are feeling is weird!!
Hiya. I just waited until I felt the time was right and then just worked it into a conversation that I was attracted to all genders. Happy days
At this point in time I dont think ill ever have the courage to come out to my husband or any one. Maybe things will get so difficult I wont have a choice, not exactly something to look forward to. Or maybe when im in a better place I will find some inner strength and take control. Here's hoping....
