How do you pick up on DL?

There really aren't secret signs on who wants what etc., you might want to go to another city and go to few gay bars and see what happens. Good luck.

 

Since it's summer, why not go to the beach? I understand Rehoboth has a gay, nude area, and there may be others nearby. Use the Google.

 

There have been many ways gay people have signaled one another over the years. There was even a gay "language" at one time, a subclass of Polari. The internet has changed things. I don't do this personally but I'm sure others can tell you which sites to go on for hooking up discreetly with someone either for friendship or sex.

Btw, self determination is your right so there is no such thing as coming out late. :icon_wink

 

If there was a secret handshake, a special language, or other signal, nobody taught it to me.

Then again, I'm sort of clueless. A guy could hand me a postcard that says, "I'm coming on to you right now," and I'd probably miss it.

I really think that Monraffe is right. Most guys meet via the internet. There are dating sites (*******, which is free and popular), and more sex-oriented sites (******.) Each has pros and cons. There is a lot of rejection and frustration with the internet, but in some ways it's easier than a bar or other venue. Just use common sense: guys lie about their age, HIV status, marital status, among many other aspects of their lives.

Delaware is fortunately close to huge urban areas, so you might just be in luck.

 

Go to another city and use an app or dating site??

 

A friend once told me she used to look for women in comfortable shoes. That was so funny.

 

Im in the same boat as you. I had sex with a man when I was young, but not for a long time now. I have tried to initiate sex with men, but I had it all wrong and they were not interested. Other times I was approached, but it scared me and I ran away.
I dont know what to say, except that we have that in common.

 

Hi,

You are avoiding a primary question and cutting to the chase. First; Why do this?

Once you are into the gay scene some of the biggest complaints are shallowness, falsehood, and drama. I believe these things begin and end with the "hookup".

I suggest you make a friend and progress to sex.

There was a beautiful story here on EC of love explored between a straight and gay pairing of guys (friends first), so it does happen.

Tom

 

What, so I've been putting out signals all this time???
And the funny part is ... they would have been right, if I had only known it

 

Same here. At one point, I expressedly told someone that I wore them because of my bad ankles and back (which is partly true, but I wear them for comfort too), so as not to look too gay or unfeminine... Lol, that just makes me laugh now... as I was gay and I now know that I had a crush on the woman I told that and didn't want her to think that I didn't have a good dress sense....

 

Is having a good "dress sense" important?

Funny... Everyone touts "don't judge a book by its cover" but few do it.

More of societies false facade?

 

Sorry guys, the comfortable shoe comment made me actually laugh out loud. My trigger crush wears comfortable shoes all year round, drools over guys although I have it on good authority that she is gay. Someone knows details from her past.... then again, I wear comfortable shoes and ive just concluded that Im gay, so the theory is absolutely correct. Im also rather drunk thinking about my trigger crush so that may explain things...

 

Out in the real world, eye contact sends the message that you're interested. Straight guys, for the most part, are oblivious if you make eye contact with them. Not-Straight guys will maintain eye contact longer than is normal. What can be difficult (especially if you're in the closet and not experienced with meeting guys in public) is turning eye contact into an actual conversation. If you're not comfortable taking the lead you can communicate you're interested by looking at a prospect, then looking away, then looking back at him (aka, flirting). Each time you make eye contact you're sending the message that you're interested. If frequent eye contact is reciprocated, give him a smile and you're almost certain to be approached.

All that said, I don't think very many closeted and inexperienced guys are making their first contacts out in the real world. That's pretty much all done on the Internet. Either through apps (******, ******, ******, etc), through hook-up sites (*********, *******, ******, etc) or through the very unpredictable Craigslist.

It seems to me that most "curious" guys start by answering ads on Craigslist. They don't post anything and they have the option to make a date and then flake without repercussions. It works for them.

On a more philosophical note, I'd suggest that you get comfortable with your curiosity. Your sexuality isn't a choice any more than your eye color is, and, just like eye color, you can hide what's real but you can't change it. You'll ALWAYS be attracted to men, right until the day you die. The sooner you make peace with that inevitability, the happier and more fulfilled you'll be.

 

Hi there and welcome to EC! I'm glad you found us.

You're 30, and you're curious. Nothing wrong with that. But are you married? Or in a LTR with a woman? If so, I strongly recommend that you don't go this route yet. I really don't think you need to have sex with a man to know that you want to have sex with a man. Instead, figure out what this might mean to your life. Is this so important and so much a part of you that you have to express it? Then shouldn't your wife / girlfriend know - so that they can make an informed decision as to whether or not they want to be with you? Especially if you plan to hookup with men for sex.

About 10 years ago, I was in your exact position. Only problem was, I didn't come to a web site as friendly and supportive as this one. I found one that people have recommended (which are blanked out because we're not to promote those sites here) and easily found other men who were willing to help me cheat. I wish I hadn't. My wife was more hurt by my infidelity than by me figuring out I was gay.

But ultimately it will be your own decision.