Okay, I'm drunk. I'm drunk and want to be with a woman so badly. I know I can't because I need to end things with my bf first but I'm online and read profiles on a dating site anyway. It makes my imagination colourful. I'm afraid to get drunk though. I'm afraid I could do something stupid and cheat on him. Fortunately I'm home this time. Maybe not fortunately because I almost told my mom. Closeted and drunk seems like a dangerous combination... Ugh. I so want to be out and proud!
Hey Paris, I feel for you but I think you should eat a little something, do a little self-help (if you know what I mean) and/or put on some loud music and dance around like a crazy person. In no particular order. Oh, yeah. And hang in there. I think you might be close to letting your bf go.
Thanks, Really. I really like your suggestion :icon_wink And you're right, I'm getting close to tell my bf. At least I reached the point where it feels less painful to tell him than not to tell him.
When you reach the point where it feels less painful to tell than not to, you're ready. It'll be difficult, but you will be free. And yes, completely understand the wanting to be with another woman. You will, give it some time. After you come out you will feel great, but you may also realize you're not ready for it even though it's what you want. Drink lots of water and stay hydrated
Thanks, guys. I didn't drink much, had only 3 glasses of wine but felt it right away because I don't drink often. Later when I was lying in bed I cried a little... I wish I could cry more though but I'm not a person who can vent their emotions easily. You're right HTBO, I think it'll take more time until I'll be ready to be with a woman but I want to make at least some friends. I noticed how controlling I'm about everything and how it prevents me from living my life. I'd like to explore myself a little more but in the current situation I'm afraid to make even a little change because I worry it might become suspicious. When water surface's been still, especially for such a long time, wavelet is easy to spot, right? I'm meeting my bf today, then he's leaving for 10 days... I'm still not sure how to tell him but I think when he's back I may be ready for some "waves". :icon_wink
