Richie, if only I could convince you to heed the superb advice and support you give to others on this forum. I can't add more to what I've said to you before, but you know I meant what I said.
You and me both Rich. What's happened to make you feel like this? You are a good person so whatever has happened is no reflection on your character. Here if you need to talk/rant/swear or all! Honestly Rich I think the world of you don't let people put you down. X
Yes you can because you have your lovely children who need you in their lives. It's not going to be easy but you have the most precious thing in your life and you can't give up. (*hug*)
Unfortunately, I am at a loss of advice for you. Other than to send you a big hug!! Just know you aren't alone.
Breathe Richie Breathe! (*hug*) you can make it through this. Really. If you are fighting with a person (wife?) In a calm voice say you are done fighting. Let her scream & rant. Listen or walk away. Hold your ground on this. it takes 2 to fight. If you are talking about the challenges of coming out it does get better. Yes it totally sucks for a while. But as PenPal said your kids need you.
Hey Richie? Coping does not equal fighting, hon. Your thread title is scary, because when a person truly can't cope, it's pretty extreme. But if what you're facing is an inability to continue fighting, I'd say that's a *positive* turn. I think it could be time to face the wisdom of not fighting...I don't mean giving up or stopping being yourself...I mean not fighting. You have nothing to prove and nothing to win. You're a beautiful, wonderful person, and all you have to do is to *be* to make that point. In fact, if anything, fighting undermines it. Like Rose says, let *her* do the fighting. That's fine. Don't defend, don't fight back. Watch "Gandhi" when you get a chance...there's a lot of strength and wisdom in not fighting. Be there for yourself and be there for your kids. But don't be there as anyone's sparring partner. And remember: we love you! *big hugs*
Richie I echo what others have said especially Linco. Your posts have meant a lot to me and your advice has comforted me so much. I wish I could just hop in my car and come hug you till the pain subsides!!! (*hug*) Rose hit it on the head when she said " In a calm voice say you are done fighting. Let her scream & rant. Listen or walk away. Hold your ground on this." I'm not trivializing the horrible spot you're in when I say the following... this is a tried and true business model in dealing with extremely difficult people. Yes it's hard to not engage when she's saying all manner of crap to/about you but it help with your sanity. Hope this helps a bit, John
"We would do ourselves a tremendous favor by letting go of the people who poison our spirit" Dr. Steve Maraboli
Hey Richie. I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling right now. I can relate. I would echo what others have said - it takes two people to have an argument, so if you don't participate, if you remove yourself, then there is no longer an argument. This is easier said than done, but it might be the only way. I'd also say that people can only treat you badly if you let them. If you don't want to be yelled at or spoken badly of, then you let her know that when she starts (assuming we're talking about your wife) that you're going to walk away. And then the next time she starts, you walk away. Make it really clear what you're doing - and why. Let her know that when she's ready to talk about things in a rational way that you'll be here to talk with her. And then leave. I'm not sure there's much more you can do. If you want to chat one on one, please don't hesitate to send me a PM.
Ouch Richie! I'm sure your body is probably complaining loudly to you at the moment :dry:. I trust that you know now by the above posts that we care about you and hope that you find a way to sort out whatever it was that initially led you to the ethanol solution in the cabinet... If fighting was the issue, you need to keep a clear head and a lion's heart. You need to be as organized and as fierce as your opponent (this could be the mother of your children, but it could also be yourself). Please know that we are there for you and that you need not fight this fight alone.
