Sorry to monopolize the board today, but I really could use some advice. While I am not out yet (and a new member here), over this past week, I decided I needed to find a healthy way to meet other gay men — so I posted a message on another site to start a group for men in the same situation. I made it clear I was not out and not interested in going to bars or clubs to meet people. Well, I received so many responses, I now feel this was a mistake, and that I'm not up to the task. I'm not trying to be dramatic — I honestly didn't expect to hear from more than 2 or 3 guys, and I've received over 20 responses in 2 days, and many of these guys are out and just looking for new friends. (Incidentally, this was NOT posted on a hook-up site; it's a genuine group site.) I'm feeling very overwhelmed right now. My gut tells me to apologize and tell the guys I can't do this right now. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
How about suggesting something specific, like a hobby that you're really into that you think just a couple of other guys might like? You could even do that with a few small groups.
How about picking two or three of the responses you received and ask them to help you set up this group? It would be kind of a planning committee. You could ask those whose inquiries interested you the most or who seemed the most likely to be able to plan a first meeting. That way the burden wouldn't fall entirely upon your shoulders and you could meet some new faces at the same time. I applaud your initiative and I am happy to hear the great response you received. Please don't give up on this effort just yet-- it sounds so promising! Good luck to you. ~Milan
Thank you, Milan. That's also great advice. There were definitely a few guys who are closer to my own age and background. I appreciate your input.
Spaceman: I'll send you a private message. P.S. Apparently I can't send a private message. I'll try again at some point in the future.
In order to send a Private Message, you need to be a Full Member here. To become a Full Member, you need to apply after being here for at least two weeks, and making at least 50 posts.
I think you have a few choices: 1. Do nothing - that's going to result in no new friends that much is assured. 2. Open the group on a test basis. Maybe a coffee house meet up or something simple. In my experience 25 online "sure I'll come" might get you 10-12 real live guys. Might be less overwhelming. 3. Share the administration of the group with one of the guys who is out. Hope this helps.
nydtc: Thanks for your honesty. I've decided to go ahead and plan the first event. As you mentioned, just because people say they want to part of the group does not guarantee they'll come — or even be available on a particular date.
P.S. I've gone ahead and contacted all the guys interested. I picked a date/time for the first meeting and asked if anyone else is interested in choosing a location. We'll see what happens. Thanks again for all the good suggestions — your thoughts and ideas gave me the courage to move forward.
