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Saying hi (again) and thank you!

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by somuchhappier, Jul 22, 2014.

  1. somuchhappier

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    Hi all,

    Warning - long!

    I'm saying hi again as I was briefly on this site 2 years ago. I'll get to the thank you later.

    Two years ago, at the age of 48, I finally fessed up to myself and my best friend I was gay. I had known for a while but was married and was trying to hide it away and conform. The day before an endurance sporting event, whilst having a coffee overlooking a scenic lake, I finally admitted I was gay. To both myself and my best friend.

    Having completed the event the next day and flown home, I initially thought that the lid could go back on pandoras box. It quickly became apparent that that wouldn't work. So I spent the next week googling "how do you tell your wife you are gay".

    Let's just say some answers were more helpful than others:grin:

    A few weeks later I told my wife of many years and the rollercoaster of house moves and divorce started. I laughed, I cried. I hoped, I feared. I had happy days and also suffered from depression (although that was to do with work not my life).

    2 years on, I am divorced. I have had some interesting, some fun and some challenging dates/times with guys. The house moves are complete for the time being as I finally settle down into my new home.

    There have been dark times when I have asked myself the straight pill question. Answer has been no. Academic anyway as doesnt exist.

    I became an expert in hindsight and "if only.." type of thinking. Latterly given up that qualification:lol: for a more positive view of what lies ahead, the future.

    Everyone says I seem happier and more relaxed in myself and I know they are right. I am. This is the real me.

    So the thank you?

    When googling away 2 years ago, I discovered this site. I discovered that unlike what I thought, I was not alone and not the first guy or girl to go through this. The few weeks I spent on this site were so helpful. Objective, non judgemental supportive advice at a time when I oh so needed a helping hand.

    So a huge thank you for everyone on the site, now and in the past. And for those that will be in the future.

    Keep doing what you're doing. You are abso-bloody-lutely amazing (*hug*)

    (&&&)(&&&)(&&&)(&&&):eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap

    Jim
     
  2. Richie.

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    Hey Jim, inspirational post! We need more posts like yours on here, so we can see the hope we strive for!

    Hoping you have many years of peace and happiness ahead of you!

    Thanks for sharing!
     
  3. Choirboy

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    Thanks for the post, Jim! I'm a few days shy of the one year mark here on EC and will be forever grateful to the wonderful people on this site who have given me strength and understanding. I continue to be amazed at the number of people who have spent years in straight marriages before accepting that they're gay (myself included). And I'm so grateful for the support of people here who have encouraged me through the dark days, and have allowed me to test myself by helping them.

    Hope you stick around for awhile. It's good to hear the perspectives of people at different parts of the journey. I'm a very different person than I was a year after joining EC and expect to be even more different a year from now. But in a positive way. Thanks for sharing your story!
     
  4. Dashton

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    Thank you for sharing your story. Wow, sounds like so much has happened over that past few years. I'm so glad you are happy and more confident with yourself. We are all here for each other. <3

    Wishing you the best!
     
  5. Weston

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    "The straight pill question," indeed! It took me many years to arrive at the answer you did and learn to love myself for who I am.
     
  6. Gaysibling

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    Thanks for sharing. I am very glad to hear that things are working out for you :slight_smile:
     
  7. BeingEarnest

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    Dear Happier,
    Thank you for sharing what it is like on the other side.
    I recently got on the roller coaster, so it helps to hear stories of what it is like after... Or just that there is an after.
    I went to a gay bar recently, it was happy hour, folks getting off work, and I just sat and watched. They greeted each other warmly, say and had conversations. What amazed me was to see how normal and enjoyable it was, how comfortable they are in their skin. I hope to be there someday. I know I will. It just takes time, and accepting, one little bit at a time.
     
  8. likethewind

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    Thanks very much for sharing your story, Jim. I'm another new guy, and your positive attitude gives me a lot of hope. Wishing you the best...
     
  9. Spaceman

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    Thanks Jim and congratulations on your tremendous progress and growth. I'm 9 months in and often test myself with the straight pill question. Today I'm still inclined to answer yes, but I'm in the thick of divorce, moving, job search figuring out how to tell the kids. Once these hurdles are overcome, I'm confident I'll be ready to join you in flushing the whole bottle down the drain.
     
  10. skiff

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    Spaceman,

    I find the job search much more complicated and frustrating than being gay.

    Now that I am "out" what do I really want to do and this economy is horrific, and employers are not interested in full time employees.

    Best of luck.

    Tom