Hi All, I just finished sanding a small deck in preparation of re-staining it and am now painting my nails (just kidding, I never do that ) and was thinking about behavioural evidence that might have alerted us to our real nature if we had been clued in. I'm fascinated by what people remember, as mentioned in some of their posts, and wondered if, besides sexual attraction, whether these things can be true signs or just features of our quirky characters. I realize some of them are surely stereotypes but what do you think? I'm also thinking that it might be harder for women than men to pick out clues? Not sure why I think this except that a girl could always legitimately be a tomboy but what's the equivalent for a boy? When you look back, or even examine yourself now, what do you find? Here are a few of mine: a) Since owning my first car, I have always washed the wheels - on rims - each winter/spring when the tires were changed so they'd be clean when they go back on. (My sister once told me I was "such a guy" for doing this. Hmmm.) b) I like mowing the lawn. Enjoy the pfft, pfft as the reel goes around and seeing the finished lawn. c) Would rather learn how to and fix minor plumbing problems than have someone else do it. (Only one disaster-ish so far.) d) Change my own headlight and taillight bulbs in my car. (A bit of background: I'm the only one in my immediate family, including my brother the neb, who has any mechanical/fix-it ability and any interest in doing manual labour-ish type stuff. There are other characteristics which I do share with all my family.) Hmm. These all seem to be from my adult years. Can't seem to remember much from my childhood except that I always wore shorts under my uniform with a turtleneck rather than blouse and then pants with turtleneck when I no longer had a uniform. I do remember as a teen and young adult studiously avoiding asking my friends about their boyfriends so they wouldn't ask me anything. I guess I sort of still do this now. What are yours?
I'm the only girl among my five siblings but I'm the only one who was interested in "fixing" things, the only one who brought home the snakes, lizards, and various other pets, the only one who played baseball/softball for any length of time, served in the military (only one of my brothers did), do what I can on my car though these newer ones make it difficult, and there are probably other things... Got called a dyke in junior high because of the way I dressed. Still dressed that way, still do...
I always hung out with the guys. Fixing bikes, going fishing and chasing girls. Seriously. Never really thought about it. I prefer manual labor over paperwork. I love building and refurbing furniture. I tinker with my car. I love camping and hiking. Yard work actually relaxes me. I wore my grandpa's boots with 501's and a men's v-neck undershirts in highschool. Nobody ever said anything....grunge was a thing then. How I didnt have it figured out before now is beyond me. Whats even more amazing is that a man actually married me. I am ten times more butch than him. I sometimes wonder if he will actually be surprised when I tell him I am gay.
ok..so being a gay man, I have a slightly different take (though it is damn close to yours). Oddly, all the things on your list, save the nail painting (too girly) and the mowing the lawn (allergies bleh) sound like things I like to do as well. I do lots of work on my truck (even swapped an engine once), built a new fence, fixed my roof, redid the bathroom (plumbing and all), regularly go camping. I don't care much for the typically gay things. Though I do love erasure and nice linens.. We all have our guilty pleasures.. But I couldn't care less who was on what show, who is wearing what, or who is dating who. And yeah, T-Shirt and jeans suit me fine.. I think for me, the person I am is not reflected in being gay, but rather just me being who I enjoy being. So my hobbies are not dictated by social "norms" for our respective groups. I think perhaps some of us are truly more free than others. And we live more freely by ignoring those boundaries that so many groups apply to the labels we apply to ourselves. So, go mow the lawn....And do whatever the heck you want!!! And to heck with what others think..
I was thinking about this today. At least for men and masculinity in the gay community. I have found no shortage of masculine and even ultra masculine men. I fit in there somewhere I suppose. I think the hetero world requires men to carry themselves as more masculine than is natural. Once out I think a lot of men simply feel free to be themselves. There are certainly a number of men on the other end of the spectrum but its not certainly not the majority. Just really noticeable.
Oh, don't worry. I will do what I want and basically don't give a toss what others think of me. [Within reason, of course. I'm not interested in offending/hurting people. ]
