Freaked out! (sexuality/gender identity/health issue... 3-in-1)

I went to a doctor appointment yesterday. At first there was just a young female intern in the room who I had a very nice talk with. The senior doctor explained me the examination results then and it turned out I'll need a laparoscopic surgery for hernia done one day. He proposed to keep monitoring my condition and postpone the surgery for now.
His main concern is that I'm still fertile and once the surgery is done eventual pregnancy would cause more damage. In short, surgery = no kids. I'm fine with that but here's where the real story begins.

I wanted to explain that there's no reason to wait because 1) I don't want kids and 2) I'm gay but I just couldn't say it. I got instantly nervous and somewhat panicked. I have a small rainbow button on my backpack so I nervously pointed it out to the intern to see but she seemed not to be familiar with the meaning. I then said something what the doctor understood like I want her to leave. When she was gone I told the doc that I'm sorry but it's a topic for me hard to talk about; I wasn't able to say I was gay but in the end I at least told him that considering my sexual orientation the chance of getting pregnant is 0.000. He answered that there are still ways, like AI.
I know that's true but the thing is that even though I could get physically pregnant I couldn't take it mentally. I wrote it once, I've always felt like I should've been born with a penis and realized that I'd want my own kids if I could get a woman pregnant as a man, not to carry them. I kept silent though and agreed to his proposal.

The whole appointment was very emotional and I was close to tears when leaving the clinic. The good thing is that the doctor was very accepting of me being gay and said sexuality is a personal matter, that he does understand that.
I was surprised by my reaction though because I thought I'm more comfortable about being gay already but it turned out I'm probably not. I think part of me felt somewhat ashamed and part of me worried he could be homophobic and treat me differently than any other patient. Ugh.
I probably just need to hear that things will get better...

 

Thank you, everyone. I think that part of the problem why it's hard for me to speak about it is also the fact that I haven't told it to people I care about the most - my bf and my mom. It feels unfair that a complete stranger would've known that about me but they wouldn't.
On the other hand I do feel stressed by setting a date for having that talk with my bf (before August 16) and I'm not quite sure if it was a good idea. I know that coming out to my bf is for the best (I've been carrying too large a burden because of that) but I worry about being unprepared, react with fear and possibly panic. :icon_sad: