So, I've been a bit scarce on the forums lately, my bad. I'll make a point of doing better going forward. Today has been a long road in the making but it's finally done. The divorce is final as of today. The hearing went off as expected, no surprises. There was a brief flare of emotion from my ex as we were getting ready to leave for the courthouse as I responded to her questions. Why I was wearing a tie? (We're going to Court.) Just lose the attitude... (um what?!) Do you know where you're going, yes or no? (Yes I have the address on the notice. And don't start with me today.) By the time we were both at the courthouse she was back to her cold normal self. I'm guessing she realized not a good idea to rock the boat before the hearing else I could throw and wrench in the plans by requesting a stay in proceedings while I get my own representation. I've gone out of my way to be as amenable as possible to making this a smooth transition, but I've also found my voice again after 30 years of introverted silence since grade school days. I've told her several times while waiting for this day to come that I'm done with the closet and I'm not living in fear of what people think any longer and I'm not playing anyone's games. The clock has begun on the day when the kids find out the "Why" behind the divorce. It's likely to be sometime after I move to my own apartment in September, but who knows? Any more "discussions" like the last one a few weeks ago while the kids are up playing about me having a boyfriend and it's "welcome to family conference" time.
Congratulations! I won't say it's been a long time coming, because this whole thing really hit you like a piano dropped from a tall building. But now a happier life can begin, without the secrets and fears. (*hug*)
Congratulations (if that's the appropriate word). I hope this will be the start of a more positive and honest future for you.
Welcome to the other side of marriage I've been there twice now. ( I still can't believe I entered into a "straight marriage" for a second time in my life .... gluten for punishment I guess :lol That's something that will never happen to me again. Both of my divorces took more than two visits before the judge and court before they were done. (both ex's played dirty pool when we went to court the first time)(boy can I pick 'em) I've now been divorced and single for over 2 years. It's a bit lonely, but I'm much happier, even if I'm alone. (!)
I feel sad when I hear people get divorced — but I'm glad you're able to live with a sense of peace and happiness now. Wishing you the best...
Why do men and women get married? I hear straight women always complaining about their husbands, and straight men always complaining about their wives. I honestly wonder why they bother if it's all so awful? And myself included, the women I've been with, some of them put me through hell...but then my ex complains about me, too. So I am just thinking it would be easier if everyone was just gay. Then men and women would have no reason to bitch about each other anymore. I know the above sounds sardonic but really everyone I know who is straight, well most of them, are either miserable, quietly resigned to fate, or plain bored, with their relationships. Hardly anyone seems happy. Are men and women doomed to never really get along? I do wonder sometimes. We are so different. As I said, I think women being with women, and men with men, actually makes more sense. At least that way the partners understand each other.
The failure of marriage and relationships, whether gay or straight, is not about our own selves, but about the way we live in those relationships. The so-called "nuclear families"; those little isolated social units that don't have time for being part of a larger community are the ones that are most at risk. Would that it were true: same-sex partners understanding each other better than heterosexuals. An unfortunate myth! There may be common bodies, but every human being is a little universe, with its own species of thinking and feeling. Heck, it's a miracle humans connect at all, gay or straight!
Many, many people have their own agendas, whether at work, in relationships, or in friendships, that what you state here, and which I've highlighted in bold, appears to be endemic!
Thanks for sharing your update. i am sure you are flooded with many contrasting feelings. May your next chapter be freer than the last.
Hi GayDadStr8Marig I am happy that you have been able to close off one chapter of your life without complications and that you have shaken off 30 years of introverted silence. I hope that your kids understand when you finally come out to them after you move into your new apartment in a few months. Good luck for the future, are you going to change your user name now? SGG
Thanks everyone for the kind words of support and encouragement since I showed up here back at the end of January. I don't care to imagine where I'd be today without you. (*hug*)
In your case congratulations seems to be the most appropriate comment. You've shown considerable restraint and behaved as a gentleman in the face of a harpy. Much happiness as you move forward.
I hope that you are able to rest, deeply, peacefully, and that you will find release and freedom to live in a way that leads to wholeness, for you, and for your family.
Well done fella. It's another stage complete and the whole new life stretching out ahead, unplanned and down to you to shape. Glad things are moving in the right direction
