20 years late

I mean, the important thing is that you're meeting the person right? How about going to get coffee, a nice place to eat (that's inexpensive) and all of that jazz? I mean, I think you should find some potential dates of both genders, and just see with whom you connect.

 

Trial and error! That's the best thing that I can tell you .

 

Hi,

I'm in exactly the same situation. Only realized four months ago, that I'm kind of bi / pansexual, longing to meet someone with whom I connect, but find that this club I go to - mostly just for the spectacle, as they put on a great show there - that place is full of extroverts far more confident than myself, many of whom seem to already know each other. And I've not as yet properly met anyone there at all.

I think we need some kind of gay / lesbian dating service, that is geared specifically for more new types. I agree that it seems hard to know where to begin. When I look at online dating sites, well maybe there's someone there, but there also seem to be a hell of a lot of folks who possibly munch through one partner after another, as though they were packets of chips. I don't know how we tell who is genuine about wanting to get to know one, and who is just after a quick, well, you know....

One thing, though: if you stick around long enough here at ec, you could eventually become a full member, and thus be allowed to get to know someone you met here (sharing of personal contact info being allowed only between full members via pm, and not otherwise). I don't know if that's actually worked for anyone, as no one is allowed to say publicly (for security reasons), but it sounds like a good idea to me. Anyway you are certainly not alone in your dilemma, I can tell you that much.

 

Many of us are in the same spot, stacie f. I'm not into bars/clubs, either — so I've tried different social groups to find people with common interests. At this point, I'm trying to focus on friendships, not a relationship. Like everyone, I would love to find a good relationship — but I realize looking for healthy friendships is a better start. I've had more misses than hits in my search — but I keep looking! I think that's the key.

Good luck to you...

 

Look for local LGBT organizations. Ours has a sub-group that does potluck dinners every month. Easy way to meet people without the hookup crowd and drinking you associate with a gay bar.

 

It's like you were in my soul and saw what I was feeling. This is what I want too.

 

There's that site meetup. You can tailor it to lbgt groups or any sort of hobbies that your interested too. You might meet some friends there that has similar interests to you and it might lead to something more!

 

Since coming out, One of the best words of advice I received was to make friends and renew friendships, to build a support network. I have done so by sharing my story up front with them, and saying that I am looking for support,guidance, friendship as I go through this. It has led to some of the most profound conversations, and very close friendships. Yesterday, one of my friends invited me to dinner with the close group of guys he has known for 20 years. They're wonderful.