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No ‘Labels’ / No ‘Definitions’

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by LOSTONE10, Aug 11, 2014.

  1. LOSTONE10

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    I’ve decided that I don’t care about or want to invest into labels or definitions on me or by what society says. I am me and I’ll learn who I am as I go. I don’t need labels or definitions to help me figure out who I am or where I want to be. I have a heart to do that. So, I will probably seek a counselor for better insight and take my time on my journey, enjoying life on the way. But I won’t pick up pointless and meaningless things or issues. Not my think anyways. So if it’s “oh shit, you’re bit?” It’s whatever, I’m happy and what’s next? That simple for me. Am I weird?:eek:
     
  2. greatwhale

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    Hey Lostone10, welcome to EC!

    Labels are, by definition, defining. Definition is, by definition, limiting...

    In referring to myself, for example, I prefer the term "working title", I am gay, but that doesn't mean that what I understand it to be is exactly and precisely what others understand it to be. Heck, there may be as many "definitions" of gay, lesbian or bisexual as there are gay, lesbian and bisexual people!

    There is however a certain utility to the label that cannot be denied. It is a kind of short-hand when you interact with others like you. It is, at the very least, a starting point for interaction with others like you, arising from a similar experience with others.

    We are all solitudes, but we are also social creatures. To me this is an incredible paradox.

    Like it or not, we need to be understood by others, we need to use a word, a label if you will, to let others like us know that we exist, so that, when finally you meet someone whom you would like to know better, and when that person has the same feelings for you, at least you have the basis for a deeper conversation about how you "define" yourselves...which may be as simple as defining your own relationship as you see fit, label-free!
     
  3. BiPenguin

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    I agree, mate. We are just who we are and that's it.
     
  4. biAnnika

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    I have to disagree with you, Mr. Whale. Definition is indeed limiting, but labels are not *defining*; they are *distinguishing*. They give information. Look up the definition.

    I keep saying it, and will say it until I'm blue in the fingertips. There's nothing wrong with labels...they are just misused! People seem to want to use them to gain insight into themselves. But labels can only give information *about* ourselves to others (and only if the label is an appropriate one...otherwise they provide misinformation).

    That said,

    LOSTONE seems to have exactly the right attitude toward labels. Labels can't help you figure out who you are...that is exactly what your heart (and head) are for. Figuring out who you are, however, can help you figure out an appropriate label, which can be useful in communicating to others about yourself.
     
  5. Lexington

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    I've never found myself confined by labels and definitions. They simply impart some information about me to others. I dig guys, so I'm "gay".

    Does that mean I'm attracted mainly to 18-year-old, skinny, hairless, white guys? No.
    Does that mean I'm attracted to every guy I meet? No.
    Does that mean I have never been, nor will ever be, attracted to a woman? No.
    Does that mean I'm into fashion and celebrities? No.
    Does that mean I'm not into sports? No.

    But I don't feel that label "gay" has to mean any of the above. Sure, some people might think some or all of them apply. But those would be people I don't know, and what they think really doesn't bother me one way or the other.

    It may be that your sexuality isn't easily summed up in a one-syllable word...or even a multi-syllable one. That's totally fine. You can say "bisexual", or "bi-romantic/monosexual", or "unclassifiable", or "I don't even understand it so I can't expect you to". It's all good. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  6. stocking

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    If that works for you that's great
     
  7. LOSTONE10

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    Thanks for all the replies and insight. Really does help alot.

    If I had to have a label placed on me, I want it to be [ Happy ].

    If I had to have a definition placed on me, I want it to be... He who is fun living, true loving, giving and considerate to the joy of the world. But... don't fuck with this guy in a hurtful way cause he'll bitch slap you twice to make sure you know you screwed up and then he'll run like hell in fear you'll royally kick his ass apart. ( Seriously )

    I'm me. Just me. No labels or definition needs to define who or what I am. My heart will do that and if you give my heart a chance, you'll know who I am without labels or definition.
     
  8. TheStormInside

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    I'm sorry, LOSTONE10, but I have to slap you with the label of "Awesome" after reading this post. :thumbsup:
     
  9. biAnnika

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    D'oh! Now you've gone and done it! *ducks out of the bitch-slapping zone*
     
  10. LOSTONE10

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    lmao! Thank you both!