If you are deeply in denial can you deny to yourself (and others) that you are in love with someone? Some might say that if you really did love someone surely it would be worth you admitting that to yourself and you certainly wouldn't ever want to hurt that person? Any thoughts very welcome! Especially if any of it rings a bell!
Hey Julianbarnes, welcome to EC! I am a past-master at denial, what with coming out at the tender age of 52...so to answer your question, if you do not believe something, you can very easily deny it exists. Your message is a little cryptic however, we might be able to help you with a little more substance to it.
Thank you great whale! I recently met a man (mid-late 30's - we both are) who is nominally straight and in a straight relationship. A number of people who are gay have questioned his sexuality and over the course of us getting to know each other I felt huge chemistry between us and a level of affection way above what you would expect from an acquaintance. I have never experienced anything like it before and felt that while it may not have been love the ingredients were there.. I addressed this with him and he denied any reciprocity. I don't want to be misleading, I was head over heels and we all know how that can blind you - it's just unlike me to refuse to accept rejection....why can't I admit that he didn't feel the same way? I can't help but think that if did really feel the same way he wouldn't have denied it which he has done publicly and to my embarrassment (I am not openly gay). Is it possible that I am not the one in denial?
Having been on the other side of a similar situation many many years ago, yes it's quite possible. If he wasn't ready to admit he had feelings for guys, good chance he wasn't ready to admit he had feelings for you. Or maybe he truly didn't - only he knows that for sure, and it may take him a while yet to get to realize/admit it.
So, I've recently come out and it now makes just a ton of sense to me why this friend of mine had me come over years ago to watch the Doris Day-Rock Hudson film Pillow Talk :roflmao: Yes, I agree that can happen.
