Do any of you have open sexless marriages? And if so, how do you make that work? We already have the sexless part but it's not really working because it's just like living with a parent or something. You love them in that way one loves someone who's been with you for a long time, but the urge to just check out is so strong. Separation or divorce just isn't possible for us financially right now until I finish school and we discussed having things open but it feels so scary to consider some sort of bar scene or dating website. So many "open-relationship" people seem so much more free-spirited and kinky than I am... at least the ones I spoke with on my brief try at a dating website. Like, all I want is a nice monogamous lesbian relationship but I can't really expect that of anyone since I'm not divorced. Then again... living a sexless existence for another 2 years is just too much. I wish I knew what to do. I feel so stressed out. I have shit I need to get done before I can be independent, I have a young child, and all I want to do is run away.
I can feel your pain sister , I was thinking of doing this because my mom was forcing me to marry a guy , I was going to let my husband know no sex between us was gonna take place and I was only going to be sleeping with other women . I don't know if many men would marry a woman who told you up front that you don't get to sleep with her .
Hugs (*hug*). You'll get there, but just wanted you to know that you're not alone. I'm in similar ish circumstances, where I feel I can't leave for at least two years because my youngest isn't at school yet and when he is I wanted to take a year to finish my masters. So I can't be independent until then and like you am at the point of trying to work out what to do and feeling so frustrated with it all. I would also like to know how an open marriage may work, though I don't think my husband would be up for that. Does your husband know about your orientation and would he be / is he comfortable with opening the relationship?
Well He's always known I was "Bi" but I don't think I'm bisexual anymore. I haven't brought up my orientation really since then... he's a nice man but I'm so afraid he'd kick me out. I'm 98% sure he wouldn't but there's that 2% in the back of my mind that isn't sure. I did say it was possible if we kept things open that I'd date women. His thoughts on it right now are that if it's going on he'd rather us just not talk about it with each other and keep those parts of our lives separate. I can understand that... it's just hard to feel so closeted even in my own home and with our entire circle of friends.
It's too frightening with a kid. I wish I could but I feel like the fact that we haven't slept together for 2 years and have discussed divorce in the future when our kid is in school, means I'm not "stringing him along." We sleep in separate bedrooms. I'm just a stay at home mother and just about to start school so if that 2% chance came true I'd be utterly screwed. I'd have to move in with my parents in another state or give up custody of my child. It just complicates things.
This is very much me. I'm a stay at home mum and have four kids and haven't worked in 7 years, plus the deal was I got to finish my masters when the youngest hits school. That 2% fear you have, I have too. My husband is lovely but I can't be certain how he might react so for me also if that small chance did eventuate I would be screwed too! My mum lives overseas so there's no one but friends who could take me in and I couldn't put a roof over my kids heads without a job, so I'd lose custody. Worst worst case scenario yes, but it's not an impossibility and that's definitely the scary part.
