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One year ago this weekend....

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Choirboy, Aug 29, 2014.

  1. Choirboy

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    What a difference a year makes. A year ago this Labor Day weekend I was out to perhaps 3 people and agonizing over how and when to tell my wife. I had a script in my head of the things I wanted to say, but I couldn't seem to find a good time to do it without chickening out. Then on the Sunday of Labor Day weekend....

    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/lgbt-later-life/107483-weird-awkward-scary-done.html

    A year later, I'm out to all of my siblings, a fair number of my cousins, a bunch of co-workers, our neighborhood via the rumor mill (someone saw me and my boyfriend having lunch together and it was quite obvious that we weren't just friends), and now it's creeping into the parish and the rest of the town. Still living at home and not divorced yet, although I'm filling out paperwork for a separation until she can stand on her own completely (or I get tired of being her crutch, whichever comes first).

    And in wild bit of irony, this weekend my wife and daughters and I are going to dinner with the man I love so they can all meet. She's a wreck and has been babbling non-stop for days about everything that pops into her head, which I know is her code for extreme nerves, but it's something that has to happen to move things forward and work on the friendship she claims to want with me in the future.

    So, to all of you who are struggling with so many things....you can do this. It's been a battle and it still is, but it's a battle worth fighting. The hell that you are going through now could be completely, insanely, wonderfully different a year from now. Don't be afraid to lean on people, here or elsewhere. Don't be afraid to see a therapist. Don't be afraid to ask for meds to get you through the worst. And don't be afraid to take chances that scare the hell out of you. Life is a lot better once you can just be who you are.

    (&&&)
     
  2. KingJude

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    That's great! I'm so glad everything has worked out for the best for you! (*hug*)
     
  3. greatwhale

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    CB, your story is more than inspiring, so glad you are here with us!
     
  4. looking for me

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    Choirboy, you have been an inspiration to me as i see some of the same relationship issues you have outlined in my relationship with my ex. and you show me hope that i can get a healthy relationship with someone.:thumbsup:

    best of luck on the big dinner.
     
  5. quietman702

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    Freaking WOW Dude! (sorry I grew up in the 60's). Thank you for your inspiration and courage. I like the others see that we do have hope.
     
  6. Thankyou for putting your story out there. Its inspirational and def something I needed to hear right now!
     
  7. BeingEarnest

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    I read the post you shared, that is quite a change in the space of a year. It is a real testament of your commitment to maintain the relationship with your wife, and allow it to change into something new for both of you.

    It is encouraging to hear such stories, especially when i am in the whirlwind of similar changes.
     
  8. PatrickUK

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    Really great to read all of that. A year soon passes, but an awaful lot can happen in a year.
     
  9. Kai LD

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    Thanks for sharing that beautiful story with us. (*hug*)
     
  10. SaleGayGuy

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    Hi CB

    Congratulations on coming so far so fast, it’s a great inspiration for those of us traveling at a slower pace.

    SGG
     
  11. Pete1970

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    Hey choir boy,

    You've come a long way in the past year. Thanks for being an inspiration and for the advice and encouragement. Glad to see things are good with your man
    Good luck with the dinner
     
  12. bottomsup

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    Congratulations, and thanks for the reassurances that you have shared.
    This has brightened my day, thank you sir!
     
  13. likethewind

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    Thanks for sharing this, Choirboy. I always enjoy reading your posts on this site — I find your words insightful and inspirational. Best wishes to you...
     
  14. Spaceman

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    Congratulations CB! Thanks for being an inspiration to us all. That you're at the point where you'll be having dinner with the wife, kids and boyfriend in this amount of time is amazing. Hope it goes great!
     
  15. sagebrush

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    Congrats, Choirboy, and thanks for a great post.
     
  16. Richie.

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    You've come so far CB. And you're right whatever hell we are going through it's only temporary and does get better.
     
  17. BiPenguin

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    That's excellent. Glad it's going well for you.
     
  18. tscott

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    I'm so happy it's working out like this for all of you. I pleased to have been in small way part of the process that has gotten you badgers there.