Hey all! I've posted here a few times and have found that a lot of you share similar stories as myself. I am in a straight relationship and have already accepted that I am not as bisexual as I had once thought... I have been needing to take the next step of coming out and leaving for some time now. In ways I suppose I was hoping to get over the lack of intimacy in our relationship and hoped that we would graduate to becoming more like partners or best friends, and in many ways we are. Being closeted has almost traumatized me and the lack of sexual intimacy has had it's affect on him as well and I know it's not fair. This is so embarrassing but I have to admit that sex is almost unbearable. When we do have sex, I have to watch lesbian porn. I can't do it any other way now and I almost feel dirty. I have been thinking though and am wondering if I should set a date to "come out" and make plans to move? I have to come out soon, it's driving me nuts and I don't think he will want me living here any longer. I have tried for years to make this work. I feel guilty because I have in my heart known that I could never give him the things that a partner should give, and vice versa. I do love him and I know this will break him. I just can't do it anymore. Ugh, change is inevitable but sometimes it can be so difficult...
Whenever you feel the time is right. I'd say, the sooner the better, since you don't want to be living in a lie (even though it's not necessarily a bad thing) for longer than you have to. I'm sure that he'll understand. It's not like you cheated on him, got knocked up, or did anything of the latter. You're being honest with him and he can't possibly be mad at you for that, right?
Hey there, I know where you're coming from I really do. I think you're at the point though where you need to do this, so I think working towards a tangible goal of coming out is for the best. You seem so ready and at the stage where you just can't keep it in any longer. I think I'm getting to that point myself. You didn't maliciously go into the relationship to not be able to give him or yourself what you both need, so try not to beat yourself up too much. Just be gentle and honest and definitely be ready to do it on your terms. Btw I feel exactly the same re the sex, it's getting harder to bring myself to do it, so you're absolutely not alone there. Let us know how you get on x
