Now that ive told my husband i feel really alone and i have doubts frequently. Though i know they are from fear of the unknown. Im not quite ready to meet new people but would like to.
Give yourself some time to adjust before making any sudden moves you might later regret. You are experiencing a lot of anxiety and your natural tendency is to do something to make it pass but most moves durning times like this are not made with the best of judgement. Try jogging or going on long walks while focusing you attention on the present. Being physically tired helps burn off some of that nervous energy.
This is really good advice. I've felt better through this when I get my exercise. Plus tired body helps win the battle to fall asleep
Look after yourself. Exercise is a good idea to help clear your mind. I felt very alone and lost after I told my husband as well, but it does get better. Try to focus on you and discover who you are. You've been living a heterosexual life but that's not who you are, so have some fun. If you aren't ready to meet people yet, then don't feel pressured to do that, take it slow, maybe find activities you enjoy and you'll meet others. Finding a LGBT group to join is a good way to meet people but without any pressures. You just need to find your way and everything else will fall into place.
Thank you all thats def good advice. I am trying to find a support group and my form of exercise has been spring cleaning which makes me feel better about the house too. Time is def the key and its good to hear it gets easier because it feels like one of the hardest things ive done and i have faced some major battles. I guess i expected it to be easier because its what i want.
Well I have to say congratulations. Even though it is tough, I am glad to hear about the experiences for others that have came out to the spouses. I am still worki g on it. But every time I read another post it gives me just a little more courage to do it. I need to hear the great success stories but also thise who are having a few struggles. I feel you are so brave. Keep moving forward and the rest with fall into place. Take care and good luck in your new life(*hug*)
Hi, You need this alone time, it is a gift. Make good use of it. Be positive. Don't be negative. Learn to make yourself happy alone. Don't focus on "OMG I am alone HAVE TO fund somebody ASAP". The reason rebound relationships occur is because people do not make proper use of the post relationship healing - self discovery period. Tom
My local LGBT center runs a support group specifically for Women Coming Out of Straight Marriage. I found that as well as many other local lesbian groups (even some broken out by age ranges) through meetup.com. Can't tell from your little profile snapshot where in the world you live, but if you have meet ups in your area, I would definitely recommend looking. I've made some good friends (singles and couples) who are kind, understanding, and supportive, and it definitely helps to ease those feelings of isolation and doubt. Good luck!
Boy do I understand where you are coming from. It will get better. It gets better everyday for me. It's been two years since I told my husband. It takes so much courage to tell your truth. Don't forget to be kind to yourself and give yourself lots of compassion. I too joined a 12 week support group for coming out. It helped a lot with the fear and aloneness. Reach out to those who are safe and kind. Look up groups on line and see if you are interested in any of the LGTBQ activities. But mostly enjoy yourself and your bravery. You will be okay.
Thank you all so much your words really help atm im really struggling but i am trying to find a group. My psych is looking into it for me also. I am overwhelmed with guilt even tho my husband says its not mu fault and i was upfront when we met. I guess because i knew deep down all along i feel guilty but im working on it. Its really hard to be kind to myself knowing how much ive hurt my best friend. It really does help to hear it gets better.
Oh sweetie I'm in your shoes! In fact you relieved me when you said you started to have doubts. I thought I was starting to lose 'the gay' or my dwindling confidence to pursue who I am and move on was a sign I shouldn't leave... I guess it's just fear after all.
I wish I could find a support group like that in nyc. It's almost unbelievable there isn't one. I've called around and am unable to find anything unless you're over fifty or teenage/college aged. Maybe around here they just assume the community is so large someone couldn't possibly feel isolated. I don't get it.
I too think you are brave. I still haven't found the courage. thanks for posting as it does help to know I'm not alone and other people have come through. I'm still very much in my head at the moment.
You might have a look at this: Meet other young lesbians? | Go Ask Alice! its up to you to make further inquiries... I have no idea if any of this is for you...
Hmm that website doesn't load correctly on my phone and I'm not really accessing this site from my computer but the question in it looks like someone's asking to find young people. I want to find adult women in their thirties. I hope that link helps someone else though.
Its amazing the difference it makes just to hear there are others in similar situations. Nothing is easy about this and for me it was complicated by many issues in my life uncluding abuse. It led me and thise around me to think it was the reason im gay when it is two seperate issues. Counselling has helped me a lot and ofc a supportive partner. It hurts but it feels so much better than living a lie. I have always been able to do things for others but not for me. I think that is a very typical thing esp for women but its time to do it for me. The doubts are natural its a huge life change. A website called meetup was suggested to me. It is avail for many countries and may help some. If anyone needs to chat anytime i am always up for it. Thanks for all the replys its making this all so much more bearable.
