Awareness of sexuality before marriage

Option 2 for me. Although, I thought if I was I was more towards women.

 

Mine would be #2. I thought i was bisexual, but preferred guys confusing love for my wife with the love I desire.

 

I'm #3. Had no idea

 

I added the poll Since I'm not married and never have been, I'm not qualified to vote though

 

I had no idea I was gay when I got married, it was about four years into the marriage when I discovered my attraction to men. At that time I just assumed I was bisexual, but other than indulging in a few gay magazines and the internet some, I never acted on the attraction.

Following my divorce after 24 years I decided it was time to give men a try, and have found that men are my preference. I still believe I'm bisexual, but probably a gay oriented bisexual at around a five on the Kinsey scale.

 

Read my soap opera story for a more complete answer, but I voted #3, had no clue, or wasn't a very good detective.

 

Other - I grew up wondering what was with the boy-girl thing, and then realized I was only supposed to like girls which confused me. I thought it was a choice? And that I wasn't allowed to like girls? You were either gay or straight, so that was weird. Then I found out bisexuality was a thing and I picked that as my umbrella term, but I think queer is the best one now, as I like almost all genders, but not all.

Still, I thought it the world was strange when I was growing up limiting itself like that xD

 

I had no idea whatsoever.

 

2 I think but more attracted to women.

 

I had no idea. I have been involved in the theatre both on and off stage for many years and have always been around gay folk and was friends with many but it never occurred to me that I was gay until my mid-40s.

SGG

 

I knew I was gay, but didn't accept it, and didn't really know what being gay would mean for me, it was a part of me I kept avoiding.

 

I had thoughts about women and had even made out with a few. But just thought it was more a curiosity. Now I know it is much more than that. So before I was married #2.

 

Hi,

My opinion... OPINION

I think we are talking simple denial. Whether it was conscious or subconscious organically we are what we are, but societal programming/pressure leads us to deny.

I believe at "some level" everyone knows. Repression and denial levels being key.

I knew I was gay but had lousy luck finding a partner. I simply naively hoped for some degree of sexual fluidity.

What is that embedded societal heuristics?

As a general rule youth is ignorance and LGBT is complex.

Tom

 

I was really all of the above and none of the above at various points.

 

Im a # 2 I knew I was bisexual from the start beforere my marriage but now in noticing it more after 3 years

 

I say # 3 because at the time, I was oblivious to my own feelings. There were signs, and the opportunity was there to discover it earlier. But at the time I believed what I had been told by teachers, pastors, and books -that sexuality is a choice. In my mind, I couldn't imagine making a choice to be gay.

Today, I recognize it is not a choice, but something I am.

 

I voted other...I deluded myself into thinking that it was a choice...I "knew" I could only love a woman...but, sex was something that was a choice. I'd a few partners in a year's span and that was the extent of my experience. I saw a long, lonely, meaningless life ahead of me...rejection by God, family, and friends. I truly fell in love with my wife. She is still the love of my life, mother of my children. In the 25 years I was married, I was a faithful husband. A straight life was the only option I felt I had.

 

Even though I was only attracted to guys, I was absolutely convinced I was "just" bisexual, and meeting the right woman would tip the scales and I'd be totally straight. I had considered coming out as gay, but I was so programmed for marriage and family that it was a struggle, and then a series of deaths in the family made me all the more interested in recreating the stable family I had just lost. And for a few years I actually didn't think all that much about guys, because I was so focused on the straight marriage. But it didn't last, although it took 20 years to finally own up to what I had done to her and myself.

 

Yeah, this is more true for me too. If we are talking about me at age 19, I was maybe thinking I was bi. If we are talking right before I got married, I would have said straight for sure, with maybe just a twinge of bi, but not enough to matter.