I talked to my wife about it and she already knew what a I was saying bc from prev conversations where am mentioning it. She don't seem mad or anything more like a i don't want to talk about it and go be with someone else thing. Suprised wasn't a huge argument just started a calm conversation and ended as such. What I was shooting for (calmness) ....I just don't know what to do now....never could tell if a guy was checking me out or not...and how to push forward with life. Thank you all that helped me have the courage to come out
Congratulations for having the courage to do that! And it's great that the initial reaction had been calm. Be aware that this can still change, and there are likely to be a lot of ups and downs along the way.
Congratulations! You did the right thing! Now comes the "fun" part...I hate to bring this up, but you should be aware that calm does not equal "everything is alright". In fact your desire for calm is your weak point, and she probably knows how to exploit it. I can almost guarantee that she is right at this moment making plans, and strategizing. I would counsel you to do the same. You need to be as organized (lawyers, agreements, a place to go) as she will most likely be (and most likely with her family's support). She will not warn you, she will not tell you anything, but be prepared for the other shoe to drop....
You're right greatwhale. She's already getting an attitude and snippy with me. Tbh I'm scared to let her borrow my car bc she might not come bqck so maybe I got to do that before she does?
Only you can know what's she is capable of, but be careful not to get angry. She will surely use that against you in court (if it comes to that) and it is impossible to think rationally when you are angry. You need to keep your wits about you...
I am. I think in time she will forgive me and see she is happier....that we all are in the future. She seems to understand the more I talk to her.
what2do Congratulations upon your coming out! As a guy who came out to his wife 3 years ago I'm there with you. I would imagine that after coming out you felt so relieved and in some way at peace. Please be cautious as your wife is probably at the other end of the spectrum with her feelings as her world is in upheaval. I would temper your expectations as far as her understanding, to understand does not mean to agree. But my hope for you is that it does goes "smooth" for you as it is possible. Thank you for sharing part of your life with us and welcome to EC.
Thank you quietman702. I did feel relieved like weight was lifted off of me. I do have to move out am packing my things as we speak. idk where I'm to go, but will find a way. I always do. It is a rollercoaster already bc she will be understanding then lash out at me and repeat. ....it is for the best thi for all of us. I told her I want to have like a friend relationship later in the future when she wants to I'm trying to be supportive for her too.
Hey what2do, I truly feel for you! The best for your kids and for you is to maintain a strong relationship with them as often as possible and to ensure that they receive the proper financial support. Make sure that this is something you both agree with and also make sure that this becomes part of any settlement you have with her. If you can leave on good terms, so much the better. It will make taking care of these young children easier...but get it in writing!
It does seem things are getting better but its early to tell. We are parting ways on good terms and our main thing is making sure the children are taken care of. If anything I will make sure they are getting everything they need.
I would agree that it's hard to tell at this point, but stay positive try to stay above petty stuff that can drag you down quickly.
