I'm relieving all the abuse I've received over the years and it sucks. So low went to doctor he increased my anti depressants up to the max.
Hey Richie, It's hard work that you are doing, painful in the extreme. Keep posting, tell us more, not for us but for you. You know that we are in your corner here!
Im just so low, the abuse I was made to focus on in therapy was all to much. I keep reliving it it frightens me I'm scared to sleep for fear of nightmares which I've been having regularly
Maybe it's time to talk about coping strategies for the present for awhile, instead of going through the root cause? The past won't disappear, but you also need to be able to function in the present. Take care.
Therapy can be very hard work when it brings out lots of issues and I'm really sorry it feels so overwhelming Richie. Have you spoken to your therapist about your fears? Stay with us cos we care about you. Sometimes we have to go through hard today's to see better tomorrows.
The therapist's job is to help you process and let go of the trauma, but it sounds like the work you are doing is retraumatizing. That's one of the most challenging issues for therapists, and one of the reasons that working with clients with physical and sexual abuse is a specialty that very few therapists actually have the training for. Have you talked to your therapist about how it feels like you are being constantly retraumatized? It really sounds like such a conversation is overdue. It would also be appropriate to ask your therapist if s/he is in supervision. (This is where a therapist works with another specially trained therapist who advises on technique and difficult treatments.) If s/he is not, it would not be inappropriate to ask that she consult and get some supervision on this issue, because it sounds like what you're experiencing is not optimal for you.
Hi Richie, please consider what Chip wrote above, regarding your therapist. It makes sense to me that counselling survivors of certain types of past abuse would require extra, specialized training. I'm concerned that 'just upping the meds' might not be the best way to help you. (I mean, as it is they can have side effects; I'm concerned about the fact that more meds might not be as healthy for your system, as some other, more holistic approaches might be). In any case I am thinking of you and wishing you strength. I can relate to when the pain of the past intrudes into our thoughts; the emotional reality of what I felt at the time, can sometimes come up for me, and yeah it's 'difficult' (euphemism). Know that they are just feelings, though, right? *Just* feelings. They come, and they go again. This might help, or it might not, but I find using my body's own breath as an object of attention, to be useful. Because, your breath is always happening right now, in the present. It is 'grounding' to come back to our own physical breath, happening right here inside our own body. Damien (*hug*) x
Hi Richie, I'm sorry to hear this. I wish there was something I could say or do to help. I hope that you work your way through this with proper help, when you do you will understand just how strong you really are, even if it doesn't feel that way to you at the moment. Best wishes.
(*hug*) I know it's scary, but you can get through it! I can't really offer any more advice than what's already been given, but I believe in you! Good luck, and keep listening to music! <3
Richie - you have a strong circle of men who are here and in the Tribe that are here for you and support you...you've gotten some good advice regarding your therapist...there are also some alternate forms of therapy...I've a friend who is a victim of childhood sexual abuse who has had wonderful results with ECT...know that you have our well-wishes and prayers...we're always here for you...love...Tim (*hug*)
Hi Richie, hope you’re feeling a bit happier today and to cheer you up a little more I send you a link to a funny music video on YouTube, it’s by Tom Goss and is about bears, hope you like it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=XqlF0h1qMoI SGG
Hi Richie I’m so relieved to see the little green “on-line” indicator under you name these days when you’re feeling so depressed and overwhelmed, it will get better eventually just hang on in there, were all thinking of you. (&&&) SGG
I have dealt with trauma and trauma therapy... have you been taught grounding techniques? Especially the ones that brings you back to the present. One that is helpful for me is to describe several things in the room I'm in, in as much detail as possible. Also, reminding myself of my age (when I'm having a flashback, I feel the age I was when it happened), and that it is not longer happening and that I have the tools now to deal with it can lessen flashbacks. With your therapist, how much trauma therapy training do they have? Have they been trained in anything like EMDR or RTR (rapid trauma resolution)? Have they taught you grounding techniques for when you feel overwhelmed by flashbacks? These are all important things to consider when you are working with a therapist to resolve trauma. It is horrible when you start working on resolution. I had blocked out much of my trauma for many years, and while it didn't directly affect me, I developed an eating disorder and other maladaptive coping techniques as a result. Looking at it is like ripping off a bandaid and feeling vulnerable and retraumatized is completely normal and a needed part of the process. Whether you deal with them directly or not, the memories are in there and are still affecting you, and at least by dealing with them, it's easier to recognize when they are causing you psychic pain. This is NOT an easy process, and anyone who goes through it is very, very brave!