Greetings, Someone online asked me this point blank and it got me thinking... First, wow! I really am gay! It just struck me as such a natural question, based on who I am understood to be at this point in my life. I talk freely with friends and family about maybe boyfriends and lovers, it's just understood: they will be men (this still strikes me as wildly strange at times, and at most other times, just awesome!). It's not only online. Other people in my recently created network of gay friends are quite interested in the foibles of my dating life, no doubt wondering who I would choose to be in a relationship with. All I can say is that, after 20 years of hard marriage, I'm being careful. I earned my right to be "fussy" and I am much more patient than I was when I decided to marry. It's odd, but as I get on in years, I am less in a hurry and much more discerning as to what it is I want, and more importantly, what I don't want. Moreover, I am frankly enjoying the freedom of being single. Of not being accountable to anyone other than my kids. I even find that I am a better father, simply because I am not overruled (from she-who-once-had-to-be-obeyed) at every turn from my interactions with them. So; is there a boyfriend in my life? No, not yet. Am I in a hurry to get one? Not particularly. The only thing I sometimes find myself wanting is someone to share my joys with; someone to whom I can say: "look at that, how beautiful is that? I'm so glad I can share this with you..."
Glad to hear you are happy Gw I haven't got a boyfriend for a few reasons.. . 1 im married. 2 im scared 3 pinned all my last 20 years on one guy, and he crushed me. 4 im scared to change my life 5 im scared to pull apart my live 6 im not a cheater, no good at that. 7 im scared i won't be able to adjust and keep my job etc 8 I smoke to much "smoke" and find it hard to trust myself or my feelings 9 im scared, scared I will go on a big wobble and go downhill quickly 10 im scared of being so alone and everyone hating me 11 im scared of what my kids will have to go through and that they will hate me 12 im a scardy cat wimp, and im scared I will never face things, let alone be able to keep a guy. 13 im scared that I will just fall headoverheels with someone and they won't. 14 just fkin hopless, still sitting on the fence now? Been debating this for a few decades now.. 15 i guess im scared that it won't work, i will be left high and dry, no money, house job kids or prospects or boyfriend.. 16 im scared that if i did manage that, i might then go on the gender issue and really push myself away fromeveryone i know. 17 i have no supporters anymore, just haters, well my immediate family are supporters.. ---------- Post added 8th Sep 2014 at 04:22 PM ---------- What rubbish I post! Well, its Monday, bad hair day Feel free to delete!!
No, I will not delete. It is an honest rant and a very good exposition of our common fears. One of the ways we vanquish them is knowing in precise detail what scares us. You can take this list, put it on a (durable) piece of paper with a check-box next to each item. And as you work through each one, check it off. You will find that some are unfounded, some are untrue, some are exaggerated and some are true but easily taken care of. I'm glad you did this list! You should keep it and share it with us as you work through it!
thanks, Gw, I will keep it. I was going to post .. "oh epic fail, we walk together hand in hand you and I" But think will brighten that up to be, "Life is full of challenges, I hope to recognise and rectify those! (ooh, rect word yo!) They are but a few humps in the road that need navigating and surrmounting (ooh, humps, ha ha and mounting!! ) Lol, be well all Thanks for your understanding, and im glad I replied and im glad you posted also. Feel a lot better now
Of course, some of us get the exact OPPOSITE reaction--how did you end up in a serious relationship when you were barely out of the starting gate, so to speak? As if there was some magical formula to share, when in fact it all happened as suddenly and unexpectedly as winning the lottery with a ticket that the wind blew into your hand from God knows where. The truth is, our lives are our own, to live as we choose to live them. We can get unexpected opportunities to be in a relationship, or unexpected opportunities because we're not in one. Happiness in life is about taking what you have and making it the best it can be, by appreciating whatever you've got and improving on what you can. Or what you choose to. Whatever happens, you can learn from it and become a better person. That might involve a relationship, but it really doesn't have to. Having a boyfriend doesn't guarantee happiness, and NOT having one doesn't guarantee misery. That's up to you.
the "you" to whit I was referring.being "epic fail". I was in reference to myself Feeling great, and happier with myself.more and more as each day passes!
