First of all, I want to thank all of you for your support and advice you've given me in a previous thread I started a couple of days ago in "LGBT Later in Life" (Help! Advice Please!). You can read my back story there. I am so glad I came to this site and have made wonderful friends. Well, I came out to my wife last night and it went much better than expected. After the initial tears she said that she is not totally suprised, and had wondered about this for some time and that she had seen some signs that I could be gay. The biggest one was a lack of desire for intimacy over the last several years. She said she has also noticed that I have been spending much time with my friend from the gym and spending more time socially outside the gym with him. He is not out, but she said she had suspicions about him being gay. She asked me point blank about him and I admitted to her that yes, I do have feelings for him, and he for me. She is now in the middle of processing this all. She has not moved out or asked me to, but I slept on the couch last night. I hated seeing her tears, but I had to tell her to be completely honest with her and to myself. It's going to be a journey. She said she'll say nothing to our son, or anyone yet, till we work through this on our own. She seems understanding but is understandably hurt as well. I know in my heart I did the right thing, for all of us. Thanks again for your help, I am so grateful.
Dear sdsfguy, What a brave step. This is not an easy path, and some days it takes all the courage you can muster. I hope you will be gentle with yourself in the days to come, and take it one step at a time. I wish you and your wife well
Thank you BeingEarnest! It's a tough day today, but I know it will ultimately be the best thing I could have done for my wife and myself. I am glad I came out and wish I could have been brave enough to do it sooner.
Wow. I'm contemplating a similar move -- glad to hear it worked out as well as could be expected for something so difficult.
Congratulations for finding the courage to do this and I’m so happy that is gone better than expected. I know exactly what you are going through and my thoughts are with you both as you begin to come to terms with a new reality. Keep posting, were hear for you. SGG
Thank you both so much nerdbrain and SaleGayGuy! I really appreciate your support! I am feeling a huge burden I've carried for so many years being lifted!
wow, very brave. your wife may change from understanding to anything but... it mat become a wild ride. be good to yourself and to your kid. he is a true innocent in all this and should be put foremost by both of you. best of luck, we're here to help as we can.
Congratulations for having the courage to take this step! It's good that she's taking it so well, at least initially. Do not be surprised if this changes. It has been in some ways a roller coaster ride for my wife and I but honest, open conversation and a shared sense of empathy have helped. This is a lot to get your head around, and you may both find yourselves in various stages of grieving.
I'll echo that you were very brave to come out to your wife, and that this is pretty much the beginning of an emotional roller coaster for both of you. There will be great days, and there will be shit days. She's just started processing this, you've had a lot more time than she has. However, it sounds like things went will, and everything will work out in the end! Congrats!
Oh, wow. Such courage and bravery! That was a very difficult thing to do, especially with the significant other. I think that was very good of you to come completely clean about both your orientation and this other person. The road ahead may be tough, but you can navigate it. I can see how strong you are. Thanks for the inspiration!
That's great! I read your story the other day. I'm in the same boat as you and am probs coming out to my husband at any time, so I'm taking some inspiration from you x
Congratulations, it was hard enough for me to come out to a therapist, but your wife? That takes balls, mate.
Hey Sdsfguy! I commend you for the courage and honesty that this took. No doubt there will be painful days ahead. Doing the right thing is often an aspect of tragedy, an attribute of inevitability. But living with integrity is just as important and worth the struggle. My best to you and to your family, no matter how it turns out, you have taken the most important step!
