I just came out to my mother by email and I am literally hyperventilating. I know she has a lot on her plate right now (her younger brother is dying) and I'm afraid it will add to it and am being selfish. Aghhh I'm really regretting I clicked send. I should've told my husband first. I'm going to be so anxious for the rest of the night. I wish I had a friend in town to invite over for support. This is so hard.
Good luck, the great people of EC are always here. Don't think that you're burdening your mother with this, you're her daughter, and she loves you! It might have been ideal to come out to your husband first, or it might have been best to come out to your mom so that you have support when you come out to your husband - only you can answer that question (*hug*)
I am thinking of you FortunateSally and hope your Mom's response is supportive and loving. I am the mother to two teenage sons so I approach this knowing in my heart, whatever they come to me for in their lives, I will respond with love. I am in a situation similar to yours, and I shared about it for the first time the other night. I think I called it Sinking in my own Truth in the Coming out Advice forum. I am fairly certain I've got the courage to tell my husband the truth on Monday when we see the therapist together. But if my Mother were alive, I may have considered telling her first. Not sure how that would have gone, she was much older, I am almost 48, and she lived in a different time. I share your pain and struggle in terms of telling your husband. I have been married for almost 23 years. But I know in my heart, I just know. And it is literally killing me to carry the burden even one day more. Take care, I feel grateful for finding this forum.
Hi FS, I don't think it will add to her "burden". It might actually take her mind off it for a while. Do you feel she will react badly or is it just the strangeness of it for her that worries you? I'm betting she'll be fine. And then you'll have someone to support you when you tell your husband. Besides us, if course.
No time is a good time. Hang in there try relax and do smt nice for yourself even if its just a bath.
You have taken a huge and brave step in the right direction. I really hope you mum gives you the support you deserve. My mum is in denial and tells me to hide it. However it is still a weight off my shoulders and I don't regret telling her. You have done the right thing, whatever her reaction which will hopefully be supportive be proud of who you are. X
Thanks all. I haven't heard back from her yet. Sometimes she's slow to read personal emails. She's pretty liberal and I have a trans sibling so it wouldn't be something she would be cruel about. I'm worried she won't believe me and I do think the way I worded it in my letter sort of painted a sad story of my denial the past ten years. I just don't want to make her feel guilty or anything.
