Anyone here coming out about gender later in life?

I'm around your age and I question my gender all the time. I mainly stick with cis woman for practical reasons, but feel I might be more in the genderqueer category.

 

Yeah, sometimes. At least a little. It's a lot to deal with. Mostly it feels like some fluidity. Honestly, this wouldn't be the first time I'd had that thought either, cause I recall pondering that some in early adolescence at least.

I'm trying to be open and honest to whatever, cause what's the point of going through all of this so far and then just repressing again, but it's a lot to deal with.

 

I am not questioning my gender, myself, but my friend's brother is a trans woman and she told me he came out to her and the family at age 35. (To note, I use masculine pronouns because I haven't met him and don't know his preference, but that is how my friend refers to him). A few acquaintances I had in college have since come out as trans, as well. One was probably around 23 when he came out, it was shortly after we graduated. The other was more recently, maybe in the past 2 or 3 years, so she would have been around 28ish.

I think, as we've discussed regarding sexuality, people come to the understanding of these things in their own time. Maybe you needed to cast off the preconceptions of the heterosexual world by acknowledging your sexuality before you felt comfortable enough to start exploring gender? I don't think it's something to feel silly about. Confronting gender identity seems in many was a lot deeper and more difficult than even sexuality, and we all know how hard that is in itself.

 

You're only two years older than I am and I really feel ya. I don't think any of us are terribly late to the party here.

In fact, part of me feels like I wouldn't have been able to articulate my issues with my gender before I had some of the concepts I learned in my late teens/early twenties. I didn't have words for the feelings I had and didn't realize that those feelings weren't just what everyone felt like.

With sexuality it was different for me, and so I figured that out sooner. I knew people when I was pretty young who were gay/bi/pan/etc so I was more able to place my own sexuality inside or outside those conceptual frameworks.

 

For myself when I was younger I was very into boys and that related to how I presented my gender. I dressed like Britney Spears half the time lol - because I was wanted boys to like me. I never really thought about my gender until my sexuality came up.

I remember when I 1st started questioning, I was really close to a trans man. He spoke to me a lot about his experiences and it sort of rubbed off on me. I didn't dress as feminine anymore. Also I was losing my attraction to men at that time, so what boys thought of me didn't matter.

Then I got busy with kids/school/work/life and my feelings for men returned and I started dressing extra fem again. Now, that I'm home and have no where to run; my gender and sexuality have come up again. I don't think I'm trans, I may just be fluid or curious. When I'm not thinking about gender, I'm shopping for dresses, but when I am, I think about wearing guy clothes and shaving my head.

I still consider myself to be a woman though...whatever that means. Sigh, I'm so confused.

 

Listening to others on here I realize it's never too late in life to come out. A lot just depends on what your situation is. I am 52. I don't think the situation gets any easier or harder just whatever we make of it. I didn't when I was younger because of fear and don't today because of fear. I can see it just takes some pretty thick skin.

 

Hi, I question my gender identity all the time, or at the moment anyhow..
Have decided to try to face and accept being gay, and then take it from there..
Have kids so cant do a lot without major life changes, so am in limbo, but have at least began to accept myself and all that is possible.
If I had another life to play with then no problem, but its late now, not sure I could ever integrate and have no support so doubtfull will ever really face gender issues... Still dont know myself, and im 40, hopless lol!.

 

I'm still trying to figure out about my gender.

 

It is never too late, I am starting a new life once again, mother calls me he all the time.it drives me crazy! I am 42 YUCK! too old? Never it's a waste of life to live a lie another day! That is why I have been June all though I don't cross dress. June

 

When I was going through my transition my therapist noted that a lot of people start coming to terms with gender a little bit later in life. I myself only started to fully accept what was going on when I was about 25 or 26(from what I remember). I was tormented by that secret starting in my early to mid teens, but it took me a long time to come out.

Gender identity can be a hard thing to face. Sexuality is hard in other ways. For me it just seemed scarier since my decisions of what I needed to do to feel comfortable where so life alteringly drastic. Also coming to terms with gender identity can complicate coming to terms with sexuality in so many ways.

 

I'm in my 40's and I'm just now starting to question it. I just always attributed my oddities to other factors.

The longer I question it, the more that I realise that I'm probably trans. If I were younger and single, I would seriously consider transitioning, but I don't know if I want to go through all that at my age. There's just too many factors involved, family, husband, kid, job, and I don't know if it's really worth it for the time I have left.

I've been dressing and acting pretty gender-neutral for years without really thinking about it (no makeup, no jewelry, shaving only when necessary, manly shoes, no skirts or dresses, male-dominated profession).

I'm thinking about going consciously androgynous instead of my half-hearted attempts at being female. I'm trying to figure out how that could work on someone of my age and with my build.

 

You might have a look at this:
http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/152580-genderfluid-hrt-transition.html#2

(*hug*)

 

This is a good read when you're trying to figure things out, especially for people questioning later in life. It's part of what brought peace to my mind when I was still questioning.
The Null HypotheCis

Edit:
I just re-read part of it and realized it was much more binary gender focused than I remembered. If you're non-binary and can look past those things, it's still a good article.

 

yeah!!

Go June (swirl hands), Go June, Go June!

Fab baby(!)(!)(!)