m 41yo, and my wife discovered last year from my txt with a guy in hongkong i was planning to meet. we had a big fight and fortunately or unfortunately i had to fly for my job in 2 days....she has not moved on with the situation and she is completely shattered. Now i m home and we are in good talking terms but she keeps reminding me time in and time out abt how she is the most unluckiest lady who loved me a lot. and this is what she got in return. we are married for last 13 yrs and for last 2 yrs we r not sexually married. i have 1 daughter who loves me alot and is very sensitive. she is not aware abt all this. my wife does not want a broken family for her. according to her separated parent kids are vulnerable for all wrong things.... we have normal communication but now her focus is only our kid and nothing else. my parents and her parents dont know. i love my family and my wife very much. but recently m attracted to boys...
It's a tough spot you're in raju, but not unique. You'll find many people here who are in various stages of coming out to their spouses. Each story is different but they all involve difficult choices. The hard truth is that there's no way these situations can be resolved without pain, vulnerability and the potential for huge changes for you and your family. The first step is to figure out what course of action is in the long term best interest of you, your wife and daughter. As I said, not easy. But there is much you can learn here from others who have walked on your shoes.
Hi, First, I would like you to reconsider this statement; Be honest with yourself is this "recent" or simply deep denial? We cannot sugar coat our choices to make our actions more palatable to ourselves and others. There are many reasons you may have been in the closet or denial but 20/20 hindsight tells the tale. Second, when you say "boys" you mean "men"? Third, your wife may be hooking you into staying playing the "shattered" and "for child's sake" cards which keeps the wound fresh. Unhealthy if she is doing that. Did she come from separated family? She made an error in choice? Vulnerability and choices are parts of life. Tom
First, Welcome to EC Raju. your wife is obviously upset this changes her whole world. having said that, i seems like she's using a bit of manipulation in that she's keeping the pain fresh and using guilt about your daughter. as a person who is almost divorced from my son's mother it is NOT better to stay together for the children's sake, is never for the good of the children but for the adult. it is entirely possible to parent together while living apart. and children are better without the stress and tension that is in a home like you describe, you may think your're hiding it from them but they know. i learned this first hand from my son. he is now so much happier and at peace since his mother no longer lives with us. you will be happier living an authentic life, as i will be when the divorce comes through and is signed, sealed and delivered when i can come out to my son, and be myself. i think you will as well. best of luck.(&&&)
my daughter is very close to both of us. my job is staying away from family for almost half of the year. although i initially used to stare at hot guys in my bachelors time but never made any attempts to go further or never met a gay guy in friend circle. although i was in a two though about saying yes. proposals were pouring as i was not bad looking ....its typical in indian society with for a guy who is the only sibling for his parents....my job yields me a handsome pay. so obviously ppl wud eye such guys for marriage in arranged system. i personally dont want a divorce and neither my wife wants. both our focus is upbringing of our daughter. even if i get a divorce which is next to impossible, wat will i do? keep seeing openly guy who r attractive for few minutes of pleasure? i dont intend to b married to a guy. but guys....here it becomes difficult to do anything with freedom.. a conservative society and an orthodox family.
