I'm heavily involved with music at my Catholic church, as a singer and musician. Additionally, I work with the grades 1-5 religious education kids weekly, teaching them songs that we use at Mass so they learn to participate and feel included. It wasn't something I chose to do--I was approached about helping when my youngest was still in that age group, and now I'm still doing it, even though she's in 8th grade. Because the news that I'm gay has started a steady creep through the community, I thought I'd better let the religious ed director know so that no one was blindsided, because the official Catholic teaching isn't very gay-friendly, although the vast majority of Catholics that I've come across are quite open-minded. (With the exception of the "Welcome to 1950" crowd, which doesn't have a large presence in our parish.) Given all the scandals in the church of late, I didn't want the fact that I'm gay to reflect badly on the program or the parish. The director felt that the pastor should have the final say, so she spoke to him today. His response? "NOTHING changes. And if any busybody complains about it, tell 'em to MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS!" He also expressed concern for how my family and I were dealing with it, asked if I needed any resources, and was appreciative that I was concerned enough to speak to her openly about it, even allowing her to mention me by name. I'd never call the process of coming out later in life an easy thing, and it certainly hasn't been all comfortable and easy. But throughout it all I've maintained that I'm doing this to be open and honest about myself, and have felt that personal integrity would ultimately win out over the problems. What a relief to have it work out that way, yet again. Coming out doesn't necessarily mean your entire life will be destroyed. Things can work out in a positive way, even in places where you wouldn't necessarily expect it to.
I am thrilled for you! That is amazing news. I am especially glad to hear they were so supportive. But also, that you had the integrity to speak up, not knowing how they can respond.
wow, that's fantastic. good for the whole parish leadership. like Pope Francis said "who am I to judge"
I'm proud of you. You are an inspiration to all of us to be honorable. As a former Catholic, I'm proud of your director and the direction the Church is headed. One day I may leave the Anglican church and rejoin the Church.
Congrats! I'm very happy to see your parish leaders stand behind you. I'm also catholic and I was working with the RCIA program to educate incoming catholic adults. When I started my coming out process, I purposely withdrew from assisting in order to avoid any issues. I only wish I was as strong then as I am now. I too would have gone to my priest first. Keep up the good work!
Nice to read your post, Choirboy. There's not a lot of positive words for the Catholic Church among the gay men I've met, so I'm happy to read you've found some acceptance. I too had a positive experience when I spoke to a priest last year. Thanks for sharing this...
Good for you and good for your community! It's always wonderful when people rise above the level of tolerance/intolerance you expect from a group. My people are Mormon and while I don't have a lot of illusions about the Mormon church being gay friendly in my experience individual Mormons have been surprisingly cool about it.
A great account and, obviously, a great congregation. The "Welcome to 1950" crowd comment made me laugh! Fortunately, they are dying off and there are fewer of them to deal with. Now, I wonder if I should have said that as I wait for a lightning bolt.
A brave and vulnerable decision, and an AWESOME response! I'm glad to hear it, and even more glad you posted about it, as it gives others hope and optimism about changing viewpoints and broader acceptance. Thanks!
That's really awesome. It's amazing how far the world has come ... many of the Catholics in my generation and younger that I know personally are actually very accepting ... I suppose it was just a matter of time before those attitudes started to trickle up.
HI Choirboy That’s fantastic news, it’s good that your local church supports you, let’s hope that you don’t have to tell anybody to mind their own business. SGG
