He is awesome, he is beautiful, he is perfect. Well, that's what my body and mind tell me. My days are filled with obsessing at work again, did he see me, who is he talking to, all that.. Met in the corridor, and wow my heart and mind flutter and tremble when we walk together.. Have some new work which will hopefully involve direct contact with him.. I just thought of it after seeing him this morning.. Gah who am I kidding, I will never be bold enough, cool enough calm and controlled whenit counts, or perhaps I will... But he is probably not gay or bi anyhow, and its all just waisted anguish and effort. Well, ill prolly find out by watching him get someone else... Gah... Anyhow, some work together my help to get to know him a little better, and at least have a better idea of possibilities. Be brave, trust yourself , dont let others put you down (thanks doc). Unfurl the feathers and flap those wings baby! Its never going to happen, depressed mess! Foobar. Just want to damage myself, the ears are getting it with 120%volume, hope they hold out! Not drinking alcahol 11 weeks now no harm, but still hard to stop punishing myself, cant move forward enough, all the worry of my life and comityments (kids) and my loving caring.wife she is very supportive, "just ask him to lunch" etc, well or she is pushing a bit to see what i do.. Is it all just madeup? No absolutkey not, although i do still suffer from tines of part denial and internal struggle.sekf hate rubbish... Go go go be free, do what you feel is right, ask, ask ask..... But then ifnit went wrong i woudk fall to pieces, and in public. I have import job, cant be seen as weak or struggling... . Lol, my 40th card from work was "what do you donwhen40?", and inside, "deny dent deny deny deny" ha ha :that was a few month back now.. Have a good day y'all!:bang::help:
Gawd, I have to steel myself, and not let my emotions take over... Can't approach this all funbly stupidii! chill mymblooming boots a little, and be cool, I am awesome, and I just need to have confidence and be cool. All good I guess!!! ---------- Post added 22nd Sep 2014 at 01:09 PM ---------- the wife is giving me good support and suggestions and is helping me grow!
hi Brother, breath dude breath You are awesome!!! So proud of you for 11 weeks no alcohol! It's difficult when you see someone who you want to be with and have no idea if they're even gay... that's why I said breath lol. May I suggest that you just say hi to him and see where it goes from there. You're a beautiful guy, just be yourself. Who knows he may not deserve you.
Who am I kidding, its just a pipe dream.. Stressed fkin arseh0le at work, fkin jerk.. I am no linguist so dont.put them in their place very well.. just want to fek this palce off, but that would mean problems.. And hunger! Grr. ---------- Post added 22nd Sep 2014 at 02:04 PM ---------- Thanks quietman! Yes, focus on the posative, and be cool calm and collected! Your post arrived at a timeley time Have a good day
Lol, on the way back in , there he was holding the door open for me! Middle of the office so just hi how you doing, etc.. But was good and at least I said something! Cor.. Silly! At least won't just be a total basket case in tears on the way home ! Lol... Onward
See there the ice is broken... baby steps. Believe me the urge to go full blast is hard to resist... just be a friend first and see what that leads.
Hi quietman, thanks for the advice I blanked him today, epic fail.. Still there is always tomorrow. My wife advises be open and honest and the worst that will happen will be a bit of embarrassment.. Its would be morenthann a little I think!
