Hello all. I’ve been lurking this site for the past eight months and figured it was high time I create an account to help celebrate Bi Visibility Week. I apologize for the length of this post and appreciate anyone willing to read through it in its entirety. My name is Polka Dots – as you can see – but feel free to call me “Dots” for short. I am a soon-to-be thirty-year-old author by trade who is in the process of coming out to my loved ones as bisexual (unless I am speaking to someone within the LGBT community, in which case I opt for pansexual). I’m in a monogamous marriage and as such have been told there’s no “reason” for me to come out, but I am sick of having to hide this beautiful part of my heart that I’ve kept under wraps for thirty-years too long. I live in a city that the KKK called “home” for decades, so as you can probably guess, there's tons of homophobia here. I have known since I was a child (about nine or so) that I was programmed differently from my peers, but that was before the internet and I had no means to communicate with others like myself. My gender identity still causes me confusion; I have long suffered from social/emotional dysphoria but am comfortable in the body I was born with (female). In my youth, I told my mother I did not feel like a girl but she dismissed my thoughts, claiming that was “silly” to think because “I look so cute in a dress” and “all the boys love me.” Well, we can see how ignorant a statement that was, but my mom – may she rest in peace – never met an open homosexual or transsexual in her life. In summary, I fall somewhere under that beautiful trans* umbrella but don’t exactly know where; I just grit my teeth and check “female” on those little questionnaire boxes since I do not present any differently. When I met my husband I told him I wasn’t exactly a woman; since then he has never once referred to me as such. He has had a hard time dealing with my sexuality, however. He is not appalled by my attraction towards women, but he does not like to hear about it. Over the years I have tried to help enlighten him on the misconceptions society has ingrained with him (for a while he did not believe bisexuality existed -- he knows better now), but I understand no amount of communication will allow a guy like him to see through my rainbow-colored spectacles. I am proud of harboring the capability to be attracted to and/or love regardless of sex or gender. So proud, in fact, that the current novel series I’m querying features multiple LGBT characters from all walks of life. My career goal is to help shed light on ignorance so future generations don’t have to be in the closet for as long as I have been, and I am pleased to see so many young people on this forum already. Someday, I hope there's no need to be in the closet in the first place, though. Anyway, it’s a pleasure to be here and I look forward to chatting with all of you. I may not be “out” completely yet, but it is on my agenda, and if sharing my experiences can help just one person I will be happy. Much love, Dots
Hi Dots and welcome to EC, so glad you took the leap and posted. When I read your post it struck me that even though your husband doesn't see through "rainbow-colored spectacles"... he's still with you. Wow. I want to go on record that I believe that bi-sexuality exists. I may not understand it but know enough that it is real. I'm proud of you for coming out and pray that your journey won't have too many pot holes or detours.
Hey Dots, welcome to EC! I enjoyed reading your well-written intro and look forward to hearing more from you!
wow, very well written and welcome to EC. like you i identify as BI and one statement you made to your husband that you weren't exactly female, i kind of know how that feels as a bi male who acknowledges and appreciates my feminine side and enjoys "bringing her out" it can be diffucult being different than those around us and those we love who don't quite "get it" i look forward hearing more of your journey. this is a good place to mix and mingle with like folks who are open with each other.
Welcome! I am also bi and in a monogamous marriage with my husband. Thank you for your introduction, and good luck on this journey.
Hello, quietman702! Thank you for the warm welcome. Thank you also for believing my orientation exists. To all the nasayers, people like me are living proof it does. I am truly blessed to have a husband who loves me for who I am despite my inner conflicts. In time I hope he will be able to converse with me regarding my bisexuality, but I understand how much pain it causes him. Regardless of what Time has in store for us, he will always be my best friend first, lover second. Hello, greatwhale! Thank you so much for your kind words. I am happy you found my intro well-written; writing is my true passion! I look forward to seeing you around the forums, too. Hi there, looking for me. It's a pleasure to meet someone who can empathize with my situation -- you are the first I've encountered personally! Some may scoff at us, but it's vital we continue to be *who* we are. That's my opinion, anyway. Hi, bi2me! Thank you for your warm welcome. I'm so happy to see I'm not alone and wish you and your husband nothing but happiness!
